With The Mind
by WaterGhost
Summary: Love is blind, and that doesn't make it any easier to hold on to the one you love. Sachiko and Yumi reflect on their past, and wonder if they can move on, or even if they want to.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, everyone. It's me again! Sick of me already? Tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, here's the much longer story that I'm working on. This would be the first installment, I'm not sure how many I'm going to write, but hopefully it's going to be a lot longer than my last attempt. Only my second fic! Ai! Random note: I generally avoid Japanese honorifics when writing in English, but 'Sa-chan' and 'Onee-sama' were two that I just couldn't avoid. However, the inversion of the first and last names common in Japan was kept intact. Just so you know.

Again, I humbly beg for any kind of criticism or comments to try and improve my storytelling, I want this fic to get better with every chapter.

Disclaimer: Only in my mind.

Well, happy reading, everyone!

8

With The Mind

It was a beautiful night.

The stars twinkled merrily in the night sky, seeming to congratulate Ogasawara Sachiko on the important milestone she had just achieved. She had just finished dinner with her parents, Suguru, and Suguru's parents, and had found a moment to escape to her balcony to take in the light of the stars. Another pompous, pretentious affair that Sachiko smiled through, uncomplaining as usual. Suguru would be back, she was sure, to tease her, like he loved to do.

Ogasawara Sachiko was now a graduate, an alumnus of Lillian High School. No longer a student, no longer Rosa Chinensis, because that title belonged to her beloved Yumi now. She had matured so well as the Rosa Chinensis en bouton, and she would now capably carry on the Yamayurikai, with Shimako and Yoshino by her side.

Sachiko couldn't have been more proud, or more emotional, as Yumi gave a tearful and emotional goodbye speech in front of her class. She remembered when she gave her own speech in front of Youko's class, how she broke down on stage. Rei had been there to help her, but Yumi managed to get through her speech, tears and all. Sachiko had tears brimming in her eyes the whole speech. Yumi's broken voice, sparkling eyes, but determined posture all stuck out in Sachiko's mind throughout the whole day, even into dinner. It broke Sachiko's heart.

Because no matter how she denied it, Yumi had come to overtake her heart. The care and respect that had slowly grown between them their first year as soeurs had blossomed into something more by the time Sachiko's grandmother had died.

At first, Sachiko refused to notice it, even though she could have read it in Yumi's eyes every time she was close to the girl. And Sachiko found that she went out of her way to be near the bubbly, innocent girl, fixing her scarf, messing with her hair, wiping tears or dirt from her petite soeur's adoring face.

Soon, every time her fingers touched Yumi's warm, smooth skin, Sachiko felt a little lightening bolt in the center of her chest, as opposed to the feeling of the dread that would appear when Suguru tried to touch her. And Sachiko began to notice the look in Yumi's eyes every time they came in physical contact, and fought back the blush that threatened to mirror Yumi's. Sachiko could still remember the feeling of her fingers on Yumi's cheek, the electric sensation of Yumi's lips on her own fingers.

I love you.

Sachiko meant it when she uttered the phrase to Yumi, and when Yumi whispered it back to her, she felt her heart leap with joy and relief. Yet, she could only say it once, right then, at that moment. It hurt too much to say it again, although she wanted to so badly every time they talked since that day.

What would her Onee-sama say? She understood her feelings for Yumi, just as Sachiko understood Youko's feelings for Sei, but she regrettably didn't speak to her beloved Onee-sama as often as she wanted. She missed her guidance, just as Yumi missed Sei's teasing and kind words.

At nights, she pondered her feelings for Yumi, remembered her voice, her laugh, her smile. She was often overwrought with guilt at the depth and strength of her love for Yumi, voices in her head from her upbringing reminded her that her romantic love for her former petite soeur was not right. She had come so close to kissing Yumi the day she told her that she loved her, but faltered. She wrestled with her sexuality in the dark, Yumi's face in her mind as she imagined what passion would feel like, how it felt to be touched so intimately by another, only to cry herself to sleep in frustration and longing. Her only comfort had been her grandmother's identical situation with her Lillian friend Yumiko, whom she reconciled with on the day of her death.

She was always afraid that someone would see right through her, straight into her heart, where they would see Sachiko's desperate love for Yumi. Only a few of the members of the Yamayurikai and Suguru seemed to come close.

She still couldn't understand it. Suguru always watched the two of them as if he knew what she was feeling, and she supposed that he did. Sachiko had to resign to the fact that he knew her dirty little secret, probably before she herself even knew about it. His smart little smirk, his playboy attitude, it was all still hard to handle at times, and this was only multiplied by his discovery of Sachiko's desperate longing for her petite soeur.

Despite her love for her cousin, her despise for him was even greater. Why? It wasn't his fault just as much as it wasn't hers. In fact, his problem seemed to be quite similar to those of hers in the illicit nature of those he loved.

He couldn't love her. And he would be content to use her, and find his own happiness somewhere else, just like her father, and her grandfather had done. He would love someone else.

She would be miserable in their marriage. Suguru seemed more resigned to the situation than she was, but then again, he'd experienced the determination of the Ogasawara group much more often than she had, and he had made several attempts to put their engagement on civil, agreeable terms. We should be grateful, he told her. We should thank them for what they've done. Sachiko could never thank her father or grandfather. She hated them even more than she hated Suguru, for pushing, for pulling away, for acting cold towards her, for expecting so much of her. They were once in the same position, but still Sachiko couldn't shake her disgust for all of the Ogasawara men. Sachiko clasped her hands in front of her with a small sigh, craning her neck upward to take in more of the natural beauty of the sky.

Sachiko finally heard the plodding footsteps of Suguru behind her.

He didn't walk like Yumi did, her steps were always lighter, and they always sped up when she got closer to her once Onee-sama. His steps were even, heavy, methodical, and Sachiko lowered her head when she heard them stop a few feet from her. She turned to face her fiancé with steely resolve.

Suguru's eyes were narrow, watching her face intently, trying to read her. "Are you okay out here by yourself, Sa-chan?"

Sachiko nodded as bile rose in her throat, grateful that she was trained to be graceful, unemotional, like a proper lady. "Yes, thank you, Suguru."

She remembered, oddly enough, how Satou Sei had always stood up to Suguru for her sake, how she had defended her during the Cinderella affair, and argued with him during the New Year's party at her house. Not out of any romantic or physical attraction, but simply because she admired Sachiko and wanted to defend her, in a chivalrous manner. Although Sachiko had at first been extremely jealous of Sei's apparent liking for Yumi, Youko calmed her down and she saw that Sei had no interest in Yumi romantically. Oddly enough, Youko herself had dormant feelings for Sei. It had been awhile since she'd seen Sei, though she knew Yumi saw her frequently, and they were both going to attend Lillian University after the break.

"I've got to go, my parents are leaving." He waited for a response, but Sachiko stood tall and silent, refusing to meet his playful stare.

He paused a moment before he added, "Your beloved little Yumi called for you earlier when we were eating dinner."

Sachiko felt her eyes grow wide, and she unwittingly emitted a small gasp, before she was able to get her emotions back under control. Suguru seemed pleased with himself that he'd caught her little emotional outburst.

Sachiko clenched her fists in front of her tightly, and dipped her head in a little bow to Suguru.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Suguru. I will retire to my room now." She kept her head down and tried to walk past him quickly, but he caught her arm.

"Sachiko." He rarely called her by her full first name. Sachiko felt the dread in her chest begin to deepen and widen. Suguru sighed.

"I wish you could be honest with me. I would we could talk this out. I know we could make it work if we wished it to, and I know we could have an amiable partnership." He paused, looking for the right words. "I'd let you be your own person, like you are with your friends."

Suguru stopped for another long pause. "Like you are with Yumi."

Yumi's name on Suguru's lips struck a nerve inside Sachiko, and she quickly averted her gaze from his. Concern filled his voice, and the dread and desperation in Sachiko grew even bigger.

"Please think about it, Sa-chan. I don't like to see you suffer, because we can find a solution. I want you be happy, the looks you have when you're around Yumi."

Of course Yumi made her feel happy. And nervous. And safe. And dirty. And loved. And guilty.

I love you, Yumi.

"Goodnight, Suguru." Sachiko kept a hard edge to her voice, one she hoped that her fiancé would heed.

Suguru sighed deeply and withdrew his hand from Sachiko's arm. "Okay, Sa-chan." He turned to leave.

"Wait."

Suguru turned back towards Sachiko with an inquisitive look on his face.

"What did Yumi say?" Sachiko kept her voice barely above a whisper.

Suguru shrugged. "Something about a letter. And that she misses you." He brows furrowed, trying to recall what the butler had told him. "Ah yes. Forget the letter, Onee-sama. I'm going to miss you, something like that."

A letter? What letter? Sachiko couldn't keep her head from spinning a little, and she took a moment to recover herself before she replied, "I see."

Suguru waited a moment longer, trying to catch Sachiko's eyes, but she refused to look up. "Goodnight," he offered awkwardly, trying to keep his voice soft to avoid upsetting Sachiko more. He didn't want to see his cousin suffer, but he could never love her the way she wanted to be loved.

A long moment passed before he turned and walked towards her door. Sachiko watched him go, a flurry of unanswered questions spinning in her head. Yumi had written her a letter? When? Why hadn't she received it? Her questions were put on hold as her mother appeared in the doorway, exchanging a few words of farewell with Suguru as he passed by. Sachiko inclined her head in a small bow to greet her mother.

A good lady respects her elders.

A good lady knows when to speak, and when to be silent.

A good lady never loses her temper.

"Congratulations, Sachiko," her mother offered a warm smile, stepping into her room gracefully and reaching out for her hand. As Sachiko held her mother's hand, she wondered if her mother had ever felt the way she did. Did she love someone else, like her grandmother did? Or did she shut herself down for the sake of the family, for the sake of tradition, for the sake of the money? Sachiko was unsure of what to say, other than a simple "thank you".

"You're all grown up now, my little Sachiko. I'm so proud of you."

Proud of what, mother? That I have sat back and taken this burden, that I suffer under it daily, that I'm afraid to love anyone? Sachiko knew that she shouldn't be so bitter towards her mother, even in private, but tonight she was feeling stretched especially thin.

"Thank you, mother. I've had a long day, so I'll go to bed early." Sachiko attempted a sweet smile, but wasn't sure if the corners of her mouth turned up like they were supposed to. Her mother, thankfully, didn't notice her daughter's particularly melancholy mood, and kissed her forehead softly.

"Goodnight, Sachiko."

"Goodnight."

Sachiko left her balcony door open partially as she prepared for bed, enjoying the cool night air on her bare skin and the slim beam of moonlight that was cast into her room. She wanted to hear Yumi's voice so badly, but now that she knew of her call, it was much too late to return it. Yumi was probably in bed, so were her parents. Her parents were genuinely nice people, kind, warm, loving towards their children. They were a real family, something that Sachiko couldn't say she had ever experienced.

And what of the letter? Nerves began to build in the pit of Sachiko's gut. In her heart, Yumi probably knew that their love was nearly impossible, but yet she still stayed by Sachiko's side. During the end of their soeur relationship, when Sachiko was under increasing amounts of stress from the family and tests, it had been Yumi comforting Sachiko, not the other way around. Yumi had become, in essence, the grande soeur, offering a warm hug and comforting words when Sachiko felt overwhelmed with her circumstances. In her arms, Sachiko felt like Yumi could save her. But when she was alone in her room, surrounded by the reality of her circumstances, she didn't feel so optimistic. She always fell in love with the wrong people.

There was a quote that her teacher had wrote on the board in her literature class one day that had struck Sachiko's heartstrings. She had written it down, and now she fumbled in her bag for the notebook it was in. "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind/ And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind". It was Shakespeare.

Sachiko sighed as the read the words over and over. But as she was about to close the notebook, a slight bulge at the front caught her eye.

Giving the notebook a good shake, Sachiko saw a sealed envelope slip out from between the pages, landing on the floor softly. Sachiko picked up the envelope slowly. A plain, ordinary envelope, that had her name written clearly in Yumi's handwriting on the front, and was sealed at the back. She touched the seal with a finger, running it over the seal carefully, feeling the obtrusive edge that indicated the edge was licked. Had Yumi's mouth been here? Sachiko silently berated herself for the thought.

Did she want to open it? Sachiko was deathly afraid of what was on the inside of the envelope. She held it to her chest as her breathing sped up. The envelope still smelled like Yumi. With fumbling fingers and a thumping heart, Sachiko broke the seal of the envelope, and opened the tear-stained piece of notebook paper to read the words Yumi had written.

_Sachiko,_

_Is it alright if I call you that now? We aren't officially soeurs anymore, after all. I'm crying as I write this because I don't want to see you go. Soon, you'll be graduated, at college, even married to Kashiwagi, and I'll be here, wanting you back with me. I know that I'm a little bit selfish, wanting you all to myself, even when I knew that I could never have you. You've been the best onee-sama I could have ever had dreamed of, and for that I want to thank you. All the letters in the world couldn't really say how much I'm going to miss you, Sachiko, and I would be lying if I said I was going to be alright. I promise to take care of Touko, and try to be as good of a grande soeur that you were to me. And I know that it might be wrong to say this, Sachiko, but you need to know before I never see you again. I love you. I love you so much that I'd do anything for you. And that day after your grandmother died, I wanted to kiss you so bad, but I was only brave enough to kiss your hand. Silly, isn't it? And if you never felt the same way, and if you think my feelings are wrong, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to say it in person, but it seems that we have a history of not saying things to each other until its almost too late. I know that it's already too late for this, but I needed you to know anyway. I love you. I always will._

_Love always and the best possible happiness,_

_Yumi_

The letter fluttered to the floor in slow motion.

All the tears and frustration that Sachiko had been hiding for weeks came out in a strangled sob. Sachiko collapsed on her bed, and let the tears come pouring out of her, letting her heart ache and cry for Yumi. Yet another night that Sachiko cried herself to sleep.

To be continued...

Oh no! So sad! But that's just the first part. I think I'll write the next part from Yumi's point of view, though nothing's been decided yet. Please please please tell me if you think that it's any good, or else I'll abandon the project altogether and try another anime series.

Another note: Though the title may seem odd, the Shakespeare quote I used was the inspiration. Love looks with the mind, love is blind, and all that. Hope it makes sense.

-WaterGhost


	2. Chapter 2

Ahh guten tag, everyone!

Oh gosh it's her again...oh yes...it's me again, with a freshly written Part Two! I did decide to make this part from Yumi's point of view (maybe I have a back and forth thing going on here), so I had to switch my brain into a different character. I thustried to make this part a little less dramatic than Sachiko's, so let me know how it went. I can only hope this part works in conjunction with the first one.

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

P.S.- Thank you so much for the feedback, everyone, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Keep it coming:-D

-WaterGhost

With The Mind- Chapter 2

Fukuzawa Yumi awoke gently to a view of her ceiling, snuggled deep within the contents of her bed covers. She inhaled deeply and released a long yawn, shaking her head to clear the groggy feeling from it. She glanced over at the bedside clock. 6:42. Normally, Yumi would sleep until almost 7, when Yuki would have to come in her room and yell for her get up, but these past few weeks Yumi had problems sleeping. Stretching, and yawning, Yumi climbed from her bed and stumbled into the bathroom to get ready for school.

There was a heavy feeling in Yumi's chest as she showered, dressed, and ate breakfast in a sleep-induced haze. It was the last day of school before spring break, and she would go to school as always. But Sachiko wouldn't be there. Sachiko wouldn't be there ever again. The thought made Yumi want to cry, but she had already shed so many tears that she felt that she was empty. As she reached for her usual red ribbons to tie in her hair, she remembered a few tender words that she and Sachiko had exchanged a few weeks before her graduation.

"Yumi, you have such beautiful hair," Sachiko had murmured as she stroked it, pulling her tight into an embrace. "You should try wearing it down sometime."

So, instead, Yumi brushed her hair straight. On her way out the door, she purposely avoided her parents and Yuki, who would only have made the matter worse. As she stepped off the bus and onto the grounds of Lillian High School, she realized that she was going to be a third year. A third year, and Rosa Chinensis, too. She knew that everyone in the school would be addressing her as that from now on, and she wasn't sure if she could get used to it or not. Sachiko had taken the title with such grace, as always, a humble acceptance that befitted a true lady like she was. Yumi wasn't a lady, and she never would be. That fact itself didn't bother Yumi, but it made it even harder to stay by her side when they lived in completely different social circles. What was Sachiko doing now? Was she thinking of her?

As Yumi folded her hands in a silent prayer before the Statue of Maria, she remembered the letter she had written to Sachiko the week before she graduated. She had written it in a moment of weakness, when thoughts of losing Sachiko had really hit home. The ill-kept secret that the whole school knew needed to be spilled to the only person that mattered.

She was in love with Sachiko.

She had been from the day that they had met, through all their troubles, and arguments, Yumi still loved her. And when Sachiko told her "I love you" after her grandmother's death, Yumi thought that she might finally be happy.

But the reality of things brought Yumi back down to earth. Sachiko probably didn't love Yumi the way Yumi loved Sachiko, and even if she did, Sachiko was still engaged. She would still be married to Kashiwagi, and Yumi would be left behind to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. She knew that if Sachiko were to return her feelings, her parents would forbid her from seeing Yumi again. Sachiko had probably been brought up with the teaching that a romantic relationship between her and Yumi was wrong, even if it did feel right, and her own parents wouldn't be happy with it either. True, Yumi's parents weren't as harsh on her like Sachiko's were, but both sets would probably disapprove of them. That is, if Sachiko did indeed love her back.

So Yumi endured the last few weeks of school as best as she could, staying by Sachiko's side to support her when she needed it, and trying her best to ignore the unhindered longing she felt when she wasn't by Sachiko's side, and the electricity that flowed through her body when Sachiko touched her. She put on a brave face for her other friends, and she could see that Yoshino had to do the same. Rei's decision to not attend college at Lillian University was difficult for Yoshino.

The letter had been more for Yumi's benefit than anything else, and she didn't mean to put it into Sachiko's bag. Sachiko never mentioned it that week, but then again, she had been busy with school and graduation business that she probably never took a close look inside her bag at all during the past few weeks.

But Yumi had to make sure. She called Sachiko's house last night, on the night of her graduation, but the butler who had answered the phone said that she was busy and couldn't be disturbed. Yumi felt her heart sink in her chest. When the butler asked if he could take a message, Yumi couldn't keep her voice from shaking as she said what she thought would be her last words to Sachiko (and through a butler, no less).

"Tell her, tell her that the letter I wrote isn't important, and to just forget about it. Also, tell her that I'm going to miss her. So much." Yumi couldn't keep her voice from breaking at the end of the sentence, and she hung up the phone as quickly as she could. Sachiko didn't call back that night, and so Yumi went to sleep late, crying over her lost love.

Yumi's silent and serious contemplation was broken by a bright voice breaking the calm morning air, calling "Onee-sama!" In spite of the trouble it took, Yumi was very glad that she had chosen Touko to be her petite soeur. Their relationship had been a rocky one, due mostly to the fact that Touko had a real problem with authority and had an affection for Sachiko that often brought the two of them into conflict at the beginning of Yumi's second year. After rejecting her once (much like Yumi did to Sachiko), Touko finally accepted her rosary and they began a relationship that put Yumi to the test in many ways. Touko was nothing like Sachiko, but Yumi saw some of the same qualities in her younger relative and she did indeed care deeply for the young girl. Touko, in her part, grew to respect and admire Yumi on her own terms, although they still had the odd argument. They both cared for Sachiko, although Yumi wasn't sure if Touko really understood the depth of Yumi's love for Sachiko.

"Good morning, Touko." Yumi smiled at the younger girl and the two began to walk towards the school.

"Onee-sama, you're now officially Rosa Chinensis!" Touko hopped excitedly next to Yumi. "And you're the most popular girl in school!" Yumi still couldn't quite believe that.

"And you changed your hair!" Touko examined it for a second, looking Yumi up and down. "I like it."

Yumi smiled again at her petite soeur. "Thanks, Touko. Someone very close to me suggested that I tried wearing it this way."

Before Touko could inquire further, Yumi spotted Yoshino and Shimako walking towards them. Yumi embraced her two friends warmly, grateful to have each of them at least for another year. Yumi greeted Noriko warmly as well, and Touko and Noriko began to chatter as the three Roses headed to school for their last day as second years.

The day flew by for Yumi. She received congratulations on her accession to Rosa Chinensis, only to feel her heart sink a little lower every time she heard the title that had once belonged to Sachiko. She mostly ignored what her teachers said in class, only responded when they offered some comment on her new title as well. She responded to all of them with a polite smile, and a thank you.

Even at the Rose Mansion, Yumi found that she was distracted with her sorrows. She watched as Shimako and Noriko made eyes at each other, listened with glazed eyes to Yoshino and Touko chat about Yoshino's flirtations with making a first year her petite soeur as soon as the new school year started. Touko finally tried to break her silence as she set some tea in front of her Onee-sama.

"What's wrong, Onee-sama? You've been really quiet all day."

Yumi fiddled with the teacup and fixed a brave face for her beloved friends. "I'm just so overwhelmed. I'm going to be a third year! It's all a lot to take in". She sipped her tea quietly and as lady like as possible.

Yoshino chuckled. "You sound more and more like Sachiko every day, Yumi."

Yumi couldn't help but perk up at the compliment. "Really?"

The other girls nodded emphatically. Yumi smiled her first real smile since she'd seen Sachiko last.

The meeting at the Rose Mansion didn't last too long, because Yoshino wanted to go visit Rei, and Noriko had an event to go to with her parents. One by one, the girls departed, exclaiming promises of a great new school year to come, waving goodbye to one another. Standing in the empty mansion, Yumi looked at the seat where Sachiko used to sit before she left, straight and tall, perfectly beautiful. Yumi placed her hand on her heart, feeling the ache and the pain from the memories and more tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. She didn't want to cry in public, though. She wanted to cry alone, in her room, so she choked back her tears bitterly.

As Yumi walked towards the exit of Lillian, she began to see a familiar form take shape on the horizon. Forgetting her lady like appearances, she broke into a jog, eager to embrace the person. It reminded her of when she had run in the rain during her fight, no, misunderstanding with Sachiko. There were still the tears now, and the person standing at the entrance of the school was the same.

"Sei!"

Satou Sei, in her normal jeans-and-tee-shirt masculine attire, turned and embraced Yumi, a smile lighting up her face.

"My little Yumi isn't little anymore!" It was true that Yumi had grown, she looked more like a real woman than a little girl, though Yumi had only begun to notice it recently.

In the arms of a trusted friend, Yumi felt like she could cry a little. Sei patted her head warmly, for she knew that Yumi's tears had to be about one person, and one person only. Sei wound an arm around Yumi's shaking shoulders, gently offering to treat her to some tea at her apartment.

"It's just a little ways this way" she urged, pushing the sobbing Yumi along the sidewalk, past the watchful eyes of strangers.

Sei's apartment was small and neat, much to Yumi's surprise. She had never thought of Sei as a particularly tidy or proper person, but her apartment was simple, clean (with the exception of a few shirts thrown in one corner). Sei brewed some tea in silence as Yumi sat, wiping up her tears and trying to push down the pain of Sachiko's absence.

Yumi flashed back to the day that Sachiko took her out on their second date, to the amusement park. She had thrown a fit because Kashiwagi decided to tag along, bringing her brother along with him. Sachiko never really acted like her true self around him, and Yumi had spent the whole day trying to lose him. The only reprieves had been when Yuki and Kashiwagi went to ride the rides, and Yumi stayed behind to accompany the easily motion sick Sachiko.

"Ecch," she had gently grimaced to Yumi. "Even looking at it makes my stomach turn."

In a moment of bravery, Yumi placed her hand her hand flat against Sachiko's stomach and said, in a voice, much lower that she'd meant, "I'll try to help calm it for you, Onee-sama."

Yumi remembered how Sachiko's eyes grew wide, then closed as she let a smile slide across her features. "I'm glad" she had simply replied.

Sei brought in the tea to her small kitchen, still steaming. Yumi took her cup and gulped a mouthful hurriedly, burning her tongue in the process. Sei couldn't help but emit a little chuckle as Yumi's eyes widened in pain, and she fanned her tongue furiously.

"Always in such a hurry, Yumi."

Yumi turned up the corners of her mouth in response to Sei's teasing words, and her cheeks showed a slight blush.

Sei continued to chuckle for a while, until she noticed Yumi's joking face fall into one filled with despair. Her eyes softened, and she kept her voice gentle as she began to ask questions.

"Yumi, what happened?"

Yumi fidgeted a little, squirmed as more tears welled up in her eyes. "She's gone, Sei." Although that was hardly true, and Yumi knew it. She tried to keep herself from feeling so dejected about the situation, but the glass always seemed to end up half empty.

Sei took another sip of her tea. "But she's not really gone, Yumi. She's going to Lillian University, like me."

Yumi grasped her cup with renewed determination to keep her tears in. Sei was technically right, but that fact didn't soothe Yumi's broken heart.

"But we can't see each other every day anymore. And when," her voice trailed off into a sorrowful whisper, "she marries Kashiwagi, I won't be able to see her at all."

Sei nodded in understanding. Though the wounds of her past with Shiori had long since healed, she still bore the scars. Her heart ached for her little friend.

"You really love her, don't you?"

Yumi emitted a choked sob. "With all my heart".

Sei wasn't too sure how to comfort Yumi any further. She carefully placed one hand on Yumi's shaking ones, and let out a deep, defeated sigh.

Yumi lowered her head, squeezing her eyes shut determinedly, but a few tears still dropped onto Sei's hand anyway.

"I wrote her this letter. I told her I loved her. And then, I told her goodbye." Yumi felt her shoulders begin to shake uncontrollably.

Sei walked around the table wordlessly and brought Yumi in for a tender hug. Yumi rested her head on Sei's shoulder, let her torrent of tears flow out of her as she sobbed until she could sob no more. When she drew back to wipe her eyes, she saw tears in Sei's eyes as well.

"Did you mean it?" Sei whispered to her.

"I do love her!" Yumi choked out. "I always have! I always will!"

Sei waited a moment as Yumi brought her sobbing under control.

"You once said to me" Yumi continued in a tear soaked voice, "that you once felt that as long as Shiori was with you, life would be okay. I know that life would go on without Sachiko, but," Yumi took in a quavering breath and let it out as slowly as she could. "I don't want it to. I don't want life to go on without her. I don't want her to hate me, and even if it means that she could never love me back, I'd only want to see her for as long as I could."

Sei felt Yumi go limp in her arms. The poor girl had cried herself to the point of exhaustion. "Come on," Sei said gently to Yumi, "you can take a nap on my bed. I'll call your parents to let them know."

Yumi, too tired to protest, nodded against Sei's shoulder, and let Sei guide her into her bedroom. Her eyes were closed as soon as she hit the pillow on Sei's bed.

When Yumi opened her bleary eyes, she was looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling. For a just a moment her brain panicked, until she recalled that afternoon's events, and that she was in Sei's bedroom. Yumi rose from the bed, stopping for a moment to look outside Sei's window. It looked like it would be dark soon.

When she emerged, Sei was sitting at her kitchen table, reading a book. When she heard Yumi's footsteps, she got up quickly, almost knocking her book off the table in the process.

"Yumi. Are you okay?"

Yumi walked to Sei quietly.

"No", she answered clearly. "But I guess I can't help that now."

Sei seized her in another fierce hug, pulling her head onto her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Yumi, I'm so sorry."

Yumi extracted herself from Sei's arms after a moment, and leaned up to place a soft kiss on Sei's cheek.

"Thank you, Sei, for everything."

Yumi gathered her things, and walked home. She feinted a cold to her parents and brother, and went to bed without her dinner. She would face tomorrow when it came, as best she could. Tonight, she would sleep.

-To Be Continued

Mmmmm so the ending turned out to be a little more serious than I had originally planned. Oh well. I'll try harder next chapter, so keep the feedback coming! Thanks for reading, and hearts to all!

-WaterGhost


	3. Chapter 3

Hello, hello, and again hello to everyone!

I humbly present to the readers on bended knee the third Chapter of my Marimite saga. This part didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped, it seems to be serving as a bridge for a much livelier (and longer) Chapter four, so don't despair, fair reader. The next Chapter also seems to be missing a considerable amount of angst, which is a nice change, I hope. Another note: I wanted to add in a little more of the Japanese culture into the story to give it more subtance (hence, the tea ceremony). I actually did my research on it, and it appears to be a major deal in Japan. As a Western child and therefore mostly unfamiliar with such things, I wanted to get a little closer to culture of the characters to make the story a bit more believable. With that in mind, read on, and as always, any constructive criticism or feedback you have would be much appreciated! Thanks!

Disclaimer: Nope. Sorry.

-WaterGhost

With The Mind

Chapter Three

It was too quiet.

Sachiko sat in her room, content to excuse herself to solitary confinement to stew in her own thoughts. Her mother had always let her run off after the normal family tea ceremonies, a sign that she silently acknowledged how tough it was for Sachiko to endure the world that they lived in. They rarely talked these days, in fact, the whole family had managed to communicate even less with each other than they had previously. Lately, Sachiko came in contact with only butlers and maids, with the odd business/family meal thrown in for good measure.

She squirmed in her kimono ever so slightly. Despite the fact that she had been trained to wear one, Sachiko preferred skirts. Normally, her mother would allow her to wear one around the house, but today was a different story.

The Ogasawara household held the tea ceremony in high regard, just like any good Japanese family should. Whenever Sachiko's father and grandfather were both present, the ceremony was treated with extra care. As Sachiko's mother performed the sacred ritual, and all of the family sat seiza style patiently waiting for the tea, Sachiko could feel a literal tension in the silent air. Both her father and her grandfather would be going off to spend a week at their respective mistresses' houses and the tea ceremony the day before always left Sachiko feeling bitter.

Bitterness won't find happiness, she quietly told herself as she gazed out the window silently from her position on her bed. But she knew that she could never get used to the fact that her father and grandfather led a sort of double life, a life that Suguru and she might be forced to endure someday. Today was especially hard, after Yumi's letter.

The air was very still; not even the birds seemed up to chirping their songs today.

Yes, it was too quiet.

Sachiko's hand found its way into her kimono to search for the one private thing she had left. She ran her finger along the edge of the crumpled piece of paper absentmindedly as she sat quietly. The letter had become a part of her person now, she put it under her pillow when she slept every night and hid it safely in her clothing all throughout the day. She wouldn't risk one of the maids finding it, or worse, a member of her family. And every spare moment she had, she took out the well-worn letter and poured over each and every word, caressing each syllable in a silent reverie, the way she imagined Yumi might say it.

Almost a week had passed since her graduation, and she had started at least a hundred letters in response to Yumi's, but when the words came flowing out from her pen, they seemed too cold, too informal.

So Sachiko sat, and waited.

Waited for what? For the sky to fall? For the world to be turned upside down and she would suddenly end up in a world where she could make her own decisions? For some, love seemed a small price to pay for financial security, but Sachiko was still young, and more spirited than her parents would like. Though that fact seemed laughable to her peers at Lillian. She imagined herself cold and cruel compared to the rest of them, and she was only able to let a few into her world. But now she had to face the days by herself, no Lillian, no Yamayurikai, only the waiting until she was trapped into the prison her parents seemed to call marriage.

During the day, she could endure her heartache with a smile on her face, but at night it was much more difficult to do. She had done her fair share of crying, but now she tried to squeeze her eyes shut to the tears that threatened every night. Tears of longing, yes, but also tears of loneliness and regret.

A soft knock on the door brought Sachiko to her feet as she set her mask in place.

Calm, collected. Pleasant, but not overbearing.

The perfect lady.

"Yes?"

The thick dark wooden door muffled the butler's low voice. "A young man from the family Fukuzawa wishes to speak with you. What shall I answer, Miss Sachiko?"

Sachiko could not keep the surprise from her expression. Young man? It could only be Yumi's brother, Yuuki, of course, but why would he call here? Or why, she thought wryly, would he pluck up the courage to attempt calling her at all? It wasn't exactly like she had given the boy a warm greeting when he arrived at her house for the yearly Yamayurikai New Year's Party, which was amplified by the fact that he had shown up with Suguru. It wasn't that she didn't like him, he seemed like pleasant enough (very much like Yumi, in looks and mannerisms), but the very fact that Suguru had taken to him so quickly was troubling for her. She figured herself a little sadistic for casting Yuuki in such a bad light solely because of his association with her cousin, but nonetheless she was slightly impressed that Yumi's brother had taken the initiative on his own.

And of course the call could only be about one thing…one person. Sachiko's heart jumped a tiny bit, half from excitement and half from worry. Sachiko walked to her door slowly, placed her hand against the heavy, solid wood.

Sachiko opened her door a fraction. "Yes, I'll take the call."

The butler inclined his head in a little bow. Sachiko never could remember his name (how long had he been working here?), but he never seemed to care all that much. "Very well, Miss Sachiko. He's on line one."

As soon as she heard the butler's receding footsteps, Sachiko carefully stepped out into the hallway and proceeded to the kitchen phone, where she would get the most privacy for her phone call. She tried to keep her footsteps unnoticeable, as she discreetly made her way through the hall, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. Because of the odd time of day, it was deserted. Even the teapot, bowls, and instruments were already dried and laid into their glass cabinet. Despite this, Sachiko made a few long glances around the room before she lifted the phone to her ear.

"This is Ogasawara Sachiko. How may I help you?" Just like a good lady should answer the phone. Polite, and formal.

"Umm, uh, this is Fukuzawa Yuuki." The hesitation in the boy's voice reminded her of Yumi. "We met a while ago, I'm Yumi's brother." He paused, as if expecting some sort of agreement, but then quickly moved on.

"And, uh, I think I should talk to you about my sister."

Sachiko felt her heart sink in her chest. Yumi? Was Yumi all right? Was she hurt, or sick? All the questions flying around in her head and all she could get out was "Yumi."

The strained tone of Yuuki's voice was evident in every syllable. "Yeah. Uh, she hasn't been looking so well lately."

Sachiko's heart cried out for her petite soeur. She wanted to protect Yumi, she wanted to hug her to her chest and tell her everything was going to be okay, she wanted to feel Yumi's skin beneath her fingers, and the frantic beating of her heart.

"What's wrong? Is she sick?" she asked as coolly as she could, her hand flying into her kimono to grasp the edge of the frayed letter once again.

Suddenly, Sachiko felt a perceivable change in the tone of Yuuki's voice. His Fukuzawa trademark stammering ceased as each word he uttered held a more serious edge to it.

"She's not sick. She misses you."

Sachiko felt her heart shatter into a tiny million little pieces, and she didn't bother to try and stem the flow of tears as they flowed steadily down her face.

A good lady does not make such a scene.

A good lady controls her feelings.

Oh, Yumi.

"I'm so sorry," was she could reply.

Yuuki's voice grew stronger. "She wants to see you!"

Sachiko was speechless.

"Do you even care about her at all?" he spat at Sachiko, with more force than she had ever heard from the normally good-natured boy.

The words hit Sachiko like a ton of bricks. Some unseen force drove her breath from her, but she couldn't stop herself from spitting back at Yuuki.

"Of course I do! How dare…"

Wait. Stop.

A good lady does not make unbecoming emotional outbursts.

Respond in a reserved manner. Like a good lady should.

It took Sachiko several moments to recover herself, but recover she did, like she had always done before.

"You should not make assumptions" she replied in the most icy tone she could conjure.

Yuuki seemed taken aback, and his stammer set back in. "Uh. You're right, I'm sorry."

"Anything in my power to help Yumi, I'll do." That part, at least, was sincere.

Sachiko received a small affirmative sound on the other end of the line. A few seconds later, there was a crunching sound on the other end and a small, feminine voice asking 'Who is it, Yuuki?'

Yumi.

The crunching continued, presumably because Yuuki was covering the end of his phone. Sachiko wanted to cry out to Yumi, but her words froze in her throat.

Sachiko could still the dull sound of Yuuki's voice. "Uh, um, it's just one of my friends from Hanadera, Yumi. Go away, okay?"

Sachiko's heart pounded in her chest.

Yumi.

Sachiko heard Yuuki remove his hand from the phone, and in a clear voice he said, "sorry, uh, I've got to go. Please, call her, or write her, or something to cheer her up, you know?" Yuuki paused before he added. "I think that you're the only one who can."

"Thank you for calling, Yuuki." Sachiko went through the motions of ending a conversation dutifully. Thank you for calling, I'll be sure to do that, and I'm sure you can't tell from the tone of my voice whether I'm being serious or blowing you off. It was both a blessing, and a curse. Her voice rarely betrayed any underlying emotions.

But sometimes, she wished it did.

Sachiko put the phone down as gently as she could, not bothering to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Instead, she pressed the letter into her body as hard as she could, hoping it would disappear beneath her skin, and become a part of her forever. Then, at least, she would be able to hold onto a small fraction of what she shared with Yumi at Lillian. The days long past. The days gone forever. Sachiko wanted to sob, but her throat was unnaturally constricted.

Yumi was hurting. Yumi was suffering because of her. Because she wasn't brave enough to tell her she loved her back, because she felt guilty for loving Yumi so much. It wasn't fair to her. None of this was fair. Her perpetual emotional constipation was creating a rift between her and Yumi. She just wanted to be around Yumi, just wanted to talk with her, but here she was, sitting here in her kitchen.

"Sa-chan?"

Sachiko whirled around to face Suguru.

Where did he come from? He seemed to disappear and appear in the house like magic, whether his parents were present or not. And he always showed up at the most inopportune times. He immediately noticed her tears, though out of experience wisely decided to keep his distance from his fiancé. Sachiko would fight when emotionally cornered like this, and though he hated to compare her to an animal, Suguru had no doubt that she would fight like one to keep herself emotionally distant from him.

Sachiko raised her head defiantly. "How much did you hear?"

A good lady gets right to the point? Was that right? The rules, her training had become one big blur in her head.

Suguru leaned against the doorframe casually. "Enough."

Sachiko's eyes, for once, were keenly trained on his, at a time when she usually averted them. The power behind her gaze was forceful.

She didn't want to run anymore.

If nothing else, she at least wanted to see her.

"Suguru," She said in a surprisingly clear voice, " I need to ask a favor of you."

To be continued...

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Ooh cliffhanger! Thanks for reading, everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I finished this part in record time, mostly because I'm leaving town for a few days and needed to get this part out to soothe my muse for a little while. This part is a little lighter, I hope, but hopefully it still packs the same message and all. I realized while writing this part that point of view is relative, so I did this part where you get to see a little of everything. It's more encompassing. Happy reading! Thanks so much, everyone, you have been wonderful!

Disclaimer: If only, if only.

P.S. I beseech the readers to provide any suggestions or other comments. Thanks!

-WaterGhost

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With The Mind

Chapter Four

Yuuki hated doing the dishes.

He always felt so domestic, like a little housewife, when he did chores like this. But he'd gotten used to it, and to his surprise found himself doing them unconsciously when his parents were at work. Now that Yumi and he were on break and almost done with school, both of his parents had decided to go to work full time. That left most of the daily chores to Yuuki and his sister, but he didn't have the heart to make Yumi do anything, much less a trivial act like doing the dishes, when she was so depressed.

So he half-heartedly scrubbed at a pan used to cook their breakfast (a breakfast which Yumi had again declined), elbow deep in soapy water and wearing his mother's red apron to avoid getting water on his favorite band tee shirt.

His sister, of course, had been locked in her room all day. Just the day before he had called everyone in Yumi's classes that he could think of, Yoshino, Touko, Sei, all the people he had heard Yumi call or talk about before. All of them (with the exception of Touko, who felt the need to instruct him out on the basics of phone etiquette) had told him the same thing. Call Sachiko.

So he did. He tried to be polite, but lost his temper. However, he managed to survive the conservation unharmed. It had been unfortunately cut short, but he had at least tried.

Outside, he heard the screeching of tires. He snorted.

What maniac was out driving now?

After a few moments, Yuuki heard a sharp knock on the door. What? Who? Thoroughly flustered, Yuuki bounded towards the front door, apron and all.

Yuuki opened the front door to reveal a smiling Kashiwagi and none other than Ogasawara Sachiko, who looked positively green, probably (judging from the squealing tires) from the car trip over.

"Uhh" was all Yuuki could get out of his mouth. Kashiwagi reached out and ran his fingers through the shorter boy's hair with a short laugh.

"Hello, Yuuki! It's been awhile!"

The boy recovered himself quickly and bowed low to Kashiwagi, then to Sachiko.

"Nice apron", Kashiwagi commented as Yuuki stepped aside to allow the visitors into the house. Yuuki felt his face turn a shade of red to match the offending garment and hung his head with a defeated sigh.

Sachiko had never been inside Yumi's house. She knew that Touko had, once, when she ran away from home, but other than that no one from Lillian (that she knew of) had been inside the Fukuzawa house. It was small (compared to hers, most houses were), but neat. It had the distinct feeling of a family house, one that was truly lived in, one where family members talked together on a regular basis and didn't communicate to their children through their butlers.

"Uh, um, you wanted to see Yumi?" Yuuki asked tried to fix his hair frantically and Suguru attempted to mess it up again.

"Yes," Sachiko replied politely. "Is she at home?"

Yuuki nodded furiously and tried to duck to avoid Suguru's hands once again. Sachiko looked on, utterly bemused and embarrassed by her cousin's behavior. She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips to convey her disapproval to a suddenly playful Suguru.

"Don't worry about Yuuki and me", Suguru smiles and threw an arm around the younger boy's shoulders.

Yuuki opened and closed his mouth several times, but no words were emitted.

"We can talk, or watch television or something. After, of course," Suguru paused to tug on the red apron playfully, "we finish the dishes here."

Sachiko was both surprised and amused by Suguru's antics, but she had more pressing matters on her mind.

"Yuuki," she asked evenly, slowly. "Where is she?"

"Uh, upstairs, uh, second door on the left," Yuuki managed to stammer out.

With one last glare, Sachiko turned her attention towards the staircase.

"Thank you, Miss Sachiko!" Yuuki's voice echoed from the kitchen as Sachiko turned her attention towards the staircase.

Sachiko walked up the stairs in a haze, heart pounding a rhythmic beat in her chest. Every step she took, she had to will the other foot to follow it. Her legs felt as heavy as lead from nerves. And as she stood and stared at Yumi's closed door, she began to panic ever so slightly. What would she say? What would Yumi say? And if she starts crying, then they'd both have to start crying, and Sachiko wasn't sure that she was emotionally prepared for that. Could she turn and walk away? No. She'd come too far for that now.

There's no going back.

Sachiko raised her arm, sighed, and cautiously made a few timid knocks on the door.

Silence.

Then, a small voice. Sachiko's heart jumped into her throat.

"Go away, Yuuki."

Yumi.

Sachiko hesitated after the rejection, but determinedly made a few, stonger knocks.

"Please, just go away, Yuuki."

The pleading tone in Yumi's voice gave Sachiko renewed strength. She placed one hand on the door, and the other on the doorknob, her face set in a steely resolve.

A good lady doesn't intrude in other's business.

A good lady waits until she is summoned.

A good lady…

A good…

She shut off the thoughts with fervent anticipation and threw her weight into the door as she pushed it open in an almost violent manner.

Yumi had been on her bed, having decided to lay on it for a little while and mope when she was halfway through making it. Assuming that it was Yuuki knocking on her door, Yumi was annoyed that he hadn't given up like he normally did and gone away. But as the door swung open and rattled against the wall, Yumi saw that it wasn't her brother after all. Her breath was frozen in her throat as she realized who was standing in the doorway.

"Onee-sama!"

Yumi launched herself off of her bed in ecstasy, forgetting all the training that Sachiko had taught her about grace and threw her arms around the taller girl with fervor. Instead of feeling Sachiko gently push her away like she half-expected, Yumi felt Sachiko's thin arms wrap around her trembling body and hold it tightly to her own. Yumi felt the sorrow that had been caked around her heart for a week melt away. It seemed like a surreal moment, with her head on Sachiko's chest, hearing and feeling her racing heartbeat.

After a few long moments, Yumi raised her teary eyes to meet her former grande soeur's. They were teary, like her own, those eyes that had captivated her so many times before and continued to do so now.

"Onee-sama," Yumi whispered, "I missed you so much."

Sachiko smiled. "I missed you too, Yumi."

Yumi reflected Sachiko's smile with a cheery one of her own as Sachiko continued.

"I'm sorry I showed up unannounced like this. I just…" her voice trailed off with a hint of sorrow.

"I just wanted to see you," she finished.

Yumi remembered her brother's 'secret' phone calls the day before.

She must remember to thank him later.

She nestled her head against Sachiko's chest with a contented sigh, feeling the pleasant buzzing in her veins whenever she was around Sachiko. Hugging Sachiko, in this moment, even if that's all she ever got to do, was enough.

It was enough.

Finally, Sachiko pulled up Yumi's head with a gentle hand to meet her adoring, expressive eyes.

"I think that today's a good day for me to take you on a date," said Sachiko, her voice sounding remarkably light and playful.

"Okay!" Yumi brightly agreed.

"We can do whatever we want, Suguru will pay for it."

A dark cloud momentarily passed over Yumi's face at the mention of Sachiko's cousin and fiancée, despite her attempts to hide it.

"Kashiwagi?"

Yumi _had _become much better at hiding her feelings, but she was still her Yumi, and Sachiko read her face in an instant.

"Oh, no," Sachiko quickly corrected, "I asked him to drive me here, he's not coming with us. I promise."

Yumi felt relief flood throughout her whole being, and didn't bother trying to hide it on her face. Sachiko didn't act the same around him, and anyone who caused Sachiko any heartache or pain was someone that Yumi could not trust.

It wasn't that she hated him.

She just didn't like him.

"Okay, I'll get dressed!" Yumi reluctantly removed herself from Sachiko's embrace and raced to find a suitable outfit to be seen in public in. She would never look as lovely as Sachiko did, but she could try. She sent a hasty thanks to Maria-sama that she had at least had the decency to take a shower that morning.

Sachiko was so utterly enamoured at that moment, her precious Yumi scrambling in excitement, to please her, to make her happy. She didn't deserve Yumi's admiration or devotion, but she wasn't sure how she would have survived the past two years without it. Sachiko's loving reverie came to a grinding halt when she realized that Yumi's hands had gone to her shirt to remove the garment, assuming that Sachiko had stepped outside.

"Ehem," Sachiko coughed, shaken up. "I'll wait downstairs," and she beat a hasty retreat back down towards her cousin and Yuuki. What was she doing? Was she going to watch Yumi undress?

How lewd.

She found her cousin in the Fukuzawa family living room, eyes intently fixed on a television show.

"Television, it's brilliant stuff," he commented to Sachiko, his eyes never leaving the screen. They both really never had much opportunity to watch it, after all.

Sachiko paced nervously at the bottom of the stairs.

Yumi had finally settled on a white skirt and red shirt. A look in the mirror sent her expression twisting into a grimace. She did not look good, her lack of sleep over several dayshad produced slight circles under her eyes, but she brushed out her hair and tried to make the most of it. As she turned in front of the mirror, she noticed that her skirt seemed noticeably shorter than when she had worn it last. She had indeed grown quite a bit.

Despite her questionable appearance, Sachiko was still downstairs, still waiting for her. She had come to her house. To see her. To see how she was doing.

"Sachiko, I love you." Just a whisper. Any louder, and the words might vanish.

Could she say it again? Sachiko hadn't given any indication whether or not she had read the letter at all, and the thought of it was a constant thought in the back of her mind. Every fiber of her being wanted to tell her, to kiss her, but she, of course, was too scared. She brushed her lips with her fingers slightly, recalling the sensation of her lips on Sachiko's skin. The thought made her light headed.

How her friends would laugh at her if they saw her! She had turned back into that bumbling little girl with pigtails, the one that blushed at the drop of a hat, the one that could never win at card games because her face betrayed all her feelings. Shimako would giggle, Rei would smile, Yoshino would hold on to her sides in laughter, maybe even roll on the floor.

Compose yourself.

You have grown up. Show her that. Show her that you are strong enough to love her, no matter what.

Resolutely, and with a stomach full of butterflies, Yumi walked down the stairs to meet Sachiko. She felt like a princess, like Cinderella, descending to meet her prince. Only that her prince was a princess, a beautiful princess.

Sachiko turned and watched Yumi descend with wonder. The full force of how much Yumi had matured in the past year was astounding. She looked beautiful. Her eyes, though, were still uniquely Yumi. The bright sparkle in her eyes that Sachiko had fallen in love with was back.

Suguru came up behind her suddenly.

"Such pretty girls!" He looked both Yumi and Sachiko up and down. Sachiko narrowed her eyes and moved towards Yumi wordlessly.

Suguru smiled. "Do you lovely ladies need for me to escort you in my car to your choice destination this evening?"

Sachiko lifted her head and allowed herself a tiny smirk. "We'll be fine, Suguru."

"Okay," Suguru handed Sachiko a handful of bills.

"Have fun, you two, use this for a cab ride or something, if you need it."

Sachiko attempted to give her cousin a genuine smile, but wasn't sure if it worked. She was truly grateful that Suguru had been so understanding about her need to see Yumi, even if he could be the biggest bastard at times. She doubted that she would ever be able to share her true feelings with him about anything, but nonetheless, for this, she was grateful.

"Will you and Yuuki be okay?" Yumi asked.

"Sure, we will. We may go to arcade later, I'll give him a chance to reclaim his honor after I beat him so badly last time."

"Hey!" Yuuki called from the living room.

Yumi gave a short laugh and waved to her brother. "Tell Mom and Dad, okay?"

Yuuki nodded and waved back. "Have fun!"

So, Sachiko and Yumi stepped onto Yumi's front porch, stopping for a moment to admire the beautiful spring day.

"Where do you want to go, Onee-sama?" Yumi looked into Sachiko's eyes with a bright smile.

Sachiko smiled back at her. In a moment of daring, she grabbed Yumi's hand, and let the electricity that she both longed for and feared flow through the both of them unhindered.

"Let's see where the day takes us."

Hand in hand, they headed out to meet the day.

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Wai! Something's happening! Yay oh boy.

Feedback?

Thanks for reading, everyone!

-WaterGhost


	5. Chapter 5

I'm back! My muse was angry at me for leaving my computer for so long, so as soon as I got back I started working, and I almost have two full chapters done.

I'm excited about this part, because it's the precursor to the next chapter, which was the most fun to write so far! Ahh, the anticipation! We left our lovely ladies on their date, yes? And thanks to a reader on date ideas, it really did help! Thanks so much! Have fun reading this chapter, and please comment, I'm hoping that these next two chapters will be good.

P.S.- You'll love the next chapter, I'm almost done with it already . Yay!

Disclaimer: Here and now, I declare to all that I make no money whatsoever from doing this, the only pay I receive is the joy of writing it.

Thanks,

WaterGhost

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With The Mind

Chapter 5

Sachiko and Yumi's impromptu date couldn't have been on a better day.

For it was another beautiful spring day. Birds chirped happily in the trees, giant puffy clouds floated slowly and silently over head, occasionally providing relief from the beating sun. Sachiko and Yumi walked hand in hand through the streets, enjoying their freedom.

The city streets bustled with life, the pulse of the city throbbed beneath their feet as they passed a flurry of activity, stores, restaurants, people passing by. They window shopped, like old times, even went back to the jeans store that they had been to on their first date.

Yumi couldn't remember a time when she had been so happy. Her hand firmly attached to Sachiko's, her side pressed up against Sachiko's body, butterflies flitting around in her stomach in excitement.

She was with Sachiko.

And Sachiko was smiling. She couldn't remember a time when she had smiled so much, only Yumi seemed to have the effect on her. Despite the unanswered questions, the unvoiced confession of love, she was glad just to be around her former petite soeur. The two girls walked around, sharing small talk and comfortable silences, and after a while, Sachiko began to notice the small changes in Yumi that she had been too busy and self absorbed to see before.

Yumi really had grown up.

Sachiko noted the more confident way in which she walked, the wisdom behind the beautiful sparkle in her eyes. She was sure that Yumi would be an excellent Rosa Chinensis. She would like to claim responsibility for this, silently referencing her 'training' in her mind, but most of the work had been Yumi's. Because of Sachiko's own drama, her own selfish needs and demands, she had tried to force Yumi to become a lady, become more like her. But she had also grown physically, as well. She was much taller, her hair was longer. She looked like a woman.

"How is Touko?" Sachiko asked.

Yumi smiled. "She's very willful. But she's doing fine. I'm trying to be a good Onee-sama like you, too, so don't worry."

Sachiko smiled. Was she such a good Onee-sama? "I'm sure you're doing a great job, Yumi." Yumi beamed.

"Onee-sama?"

Yumi brown eyes met Sachiko's blue ones.

"What should we do now?"

"Whatever you want to do, Yumi, is fine with me."

Yumi smiled. Every previous date with her former grande soeur had been much the same, with Yumi choosing their activity, Sachiko following along. They were not in Sachiko's world, after all, but the older girl was always happy to try anything, to put herself into different situations for Yumi's sake. She had even gone to the amusement park with her (though they didn't ride any rides). So the amusement park wouldn't be such a good idea. An idea suddenly struck Yumi.

"I know!"

Sachiko tilted her head, eyes questioning.

Yumi waved her free hand energetically. "The park on the east side of town has a big pond. They just started renting little boats, and I've heard that the views of the city are really good."

"Boats?" Sachiko felt her stomach jump a little. She had always been plagued by motion sickness.

Yumi laughed. "It's really very tame, Onee-sama", she encouraged.

She remembered, suddenly, when Sachiko and she had danced in the empty auditorium, Yumi the bumbling little first year and Sachiko the confident, graceful, beautiful lady. She remembered how safe she felt in Sachiko's arms, how exciting it was to be touched by her. The school, the whole world had seemed to fade away, and it was just Sachiko and she, dancing together.

Sachiko looked into Yumi's eager eyes and smiled. "Let's try it."

Yumi's small, cute sound of affirmation started the pair on their way.

Although she was undeniably happy, Sachiko felt the weight of reality begin to press down on her shoulders. What was she going to do? 'I love you' was at the back of her throat at any given second, frozen in time, waiting for something to give within her.

She remembered Yumi's letter, it was still pressed against her chest underneath her shirt. She wasn't quite sure why she had brought it here. Maybe she was afraid that if she didn't keep it, the words would disappear, the love would disappear. Though she knew that was a stupid thought, she was still afraid. She could recite every word of the letter now.

_Sachiko,_

_Is it alright if I call you that now? We aren't officially soeurs anymore, after all. I'm crying as I write this because I don't want to see you go. Soon, you'll be graduated, at college, even married to Kashiwagi, and I'll be here, wanting you back with me. I know that I'm a little bit selfish, wanting you all to myself, even when I knew that I could never have you. You've been the best Onee-sama I could have ever had dreamed of, and for that I want to thank you. All the letters in the world couldn't really say how much I'm going to miss you, Sachiko, and I would be lying if I said I was going to be alright. I promise to take care of Touko, and try to be as good of a grande soeur that you were to me. And I know that it might be wrong to say this, Sachiko, but you need to know before I never see you again. I love you. I love you so much that I'd do anything for you. And that day after your grandmother died, I wanted to kiss you so bad, but I was only brave enough to kiss your hand. Silly, isn't it? And if you never felt the same way, and if you think my feelings are wrong, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to say it in person, but it seems that we have a history of not saying things to each other until its almost too late. I know that it's already too late for this, but I needed you to know anyway. I love you. I always will._

_Love always and the best possible happiness,_

_Yumi_

She didn't want to lose Yumi.

I love you, Yumi.

Just say it. Just go for it. She knew that Yumi loved her. She knew that she loved her back. What was she waiting for?

The nearness of Yumi excited Sachiko in ways she never knew possible, ways that were wrong, were dirty, but right now, she just didn't care. For one afternoon, for one night, she could be here, with her Yumi.

The boats Yumi had mentioned were truly little, enough for the just the two of them. Sachiko paid for the rental with Suguru's money and Yumi helped her into the little blue painted boat with the gentleness that Sachiko loved from her. She even took the oars, pulling the two of them around the calm waters. The air was peaceful, and the two girls chatted away happily as they meandered around the nearly empty pond, utterly enthralled by each other's presence. Time passed unnoticed, the two girls found the shadows lengthening behind them.

As they reached the far end of the pond, they saw the setting sun behind the thick green trees of the park.

"It's beautiful" whispered Sachiko. Yumi nodded wordlessly. Sachiko knew that she didn't mean the view of the sunset, but Yumi didn't.

"It's getting dark, Onee-sama," Yumi said softly. Sachiko nodded.

After a moment, Yumi began to row them back to shore.

After the boat was returned, the two began to walk the streets again, admiring the golden glow of the setting sun.

Sachiko suddenly stopped. "Let me buy you dinner, Yumi."

Yumi knew that traditionally, the boy should always pay for things. But when the both of them were girls, what did tradition matter? Sachiko and she were not a traditional couple.

They weren't even a couple. At least, not in the way that Yumi wished for.

Dinner was a much more formal affair. This date, they ate at a sit-down restaurant, attended by a mousy-looking waiter in his mid-20's. Yumi didn't understand what most of the dishes were, so Sachiko delightedly educated Yumi on what she knew about fine cuisine. It was no McDonald's, she knew, but Yumi seemed happy with the French dish Chicken Cordon Bleu, finishing the whole plate.

"Let's go back to the park," Yumi suggested as they stepped back out into the twilight. "During the night, they sometimes light beautiful lanterns. It's really pretty."

So they walked back towards the park. Sachiko noticed, though, on the way back, that a few dark clouds had began to gather above their heads. She even thought that she heard the quiet rumblings of thunder, but pushed it out of her mind as she enjoyed the pleasant buzzing feeling in her chest created by Yumi's touch.

The park was beautifully lit, and silent. The two walked around, enjoying the ambience that the lanterns provided.

Sachiko's hand found its way to the front of her shirt, and she touched Yumi's letter through the fabric of it. Yumi was so close to her.

Right by her side. Right here.

I love you, Yumi.

"Yumi?"

Yumi's bright eyes twinkled at Sachiko. "Yes, Onee-sama?"

"I'm sorry for the way I've been."

Yumi shook her head. "You were just stressed by tests, and by graduation. It's no problem."

Sachiko's eyes held a serious look. "It is a problem. I'm not talking about graduation. I'm talking about all the times I berated you in public, or didn't tell you something you needed to hear, or tried to change you. I'm so sorry."

Realization hit Yumi like a lightening bolt.

The letter.

Sachiko had read it.

Sachiko knew.

She felt panic begin to rise in her chest.

"Onee-sama…"

Sachiko grabbed Yumi's shoulders in desperation.

"I should have paid attention. I should have thanked you for supporting me, for protecting me, for loving me!"

Yumi felt tears begin to form in her eyes. "Onee-sama, I'm sorry."

Sachiko shook her head almost violently.

"Call me by my name, Yumi."

Yumi tried to swallow the huge lump in her throat. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Sachiko."

Sachiko felt her breathing increase involuntarily and she closed her eyes, savoring the way her name sounded on Yumi's lips.

Yumi's lips.

They were trembling. Sachiko wanted to seize her and kiss her so badly, but her own lips were shaking too.

"Thank you, Yumi, for everything."

Yumi's butterflies were getting more insistent by the second, speeding her heartbeat and her breathing. Could it be possible? Did Sachiko love her?

Sachiko felt her eyes threatened by tears. It was on her lips now, all she had to do was open her mouth.

Above them, the skies boomed with the sounded of thunder, and the smell of rain was suddenly in the air. The wind picked up.

"I," Yumi started, but had to raise her voice to be heard above the wind. "Sachiko, I lo…"

An insistent peal of thunder rang above their heads.

And the heavens opened up.

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Another one. Sorry for that. Next chapter, things will happen. Eek! Thanks for reading! Next chapter up soon, I promise.

I'm so excited!

-WaterGhost


	6. Chapter 6

And so it starts. The infamous Chapter 6. This was an incredibly tough chapter to write, I spent hours and hours obsessing over small details before I decided to call this the final draft. This is my first attempt at such an intense scene, so be gentle with me and please give me all the feedback you can. A small random note: most of the inspiration for this part comes from the famous aria 'Nessun Dorma' from Giacomo Puccini's opera 'Turandot'. I saw it when I was in elementary school and just recently rediscovered its beauty. So, if you happen to get a chance to listen to it, or a clip from it, while you are reading this, maybe it'll help enhance the experience. Just a thought.

Happy reading!

Disclaimer: Only for the joy.

Thanks,

WaterGhost (Sarah)

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With The Mind

Chapter 6

The heavens opened up.

Heavy raindrops began to fall from the dark sky and the two girls became soaked in a matter of seconds.

Yumi opened and closed her mouth, too shocked to move, too scared to breathe. There were so many things that she needed to say, but the words were stuck in her throat.

The volume of rain increased, pounding insistently down on their heads as their eyes remained locked on one another's. Finally, Sachiko had the reasoning to pull Yumi to a white gazebo on top of the hills.

As they ran (in a most unladylike fashion), Yumi remembered the last time she had run in the rain like this. She had been heartbroken over Sachiko's seeming rejection of her. Their utter lack of communication and fears were issues that they had barely managed to overcome that time, and only with Sei's, Youko's, and (regrettable for Yumi to mention) Kashiwagi's help.

She didn't want that to happen this time.

She didn't want to lose Sachiko.

The gazebo was dry, and both girls sat on the bench with a relieved sigh. Thunder crashed above their heads and the rain picked up, sending more heavy, thick drops down. The trees moaned and shook under the weight of the wind, bending back and forth.

Both soon began to shiver from wet clothes and the wind as the silence between them grew.

Yumi made several attempts to say it again. "I…"

"I lo…."

She was afraid. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Large tears leaked from her eyes, and she began to cry.

Sachiko heard the quiet sobs of her former petite soeur, and couldn't hold back tears of her own. The two sobbed together, side by side, afraid to touch, shivering from the cold.

When Yumi finally got some words out, her voice was broken. "You probably want to forget about that stupid letter."

"Don't you say that," Sachiko sobbed, reaching into the front of her shirt. "I have it. I have it! I'll never let it go!"

She watched Yumi reach out and touch the well-worn paper reverently, her hand coming dangerously close to Sachiko's wet clad body. She shivered again, not from the cold, and sighed.

Then, she turned and looked directly into Yumi's eyes. The eyes that she loved. The eyes that melted her. She opened her mouth determinedly.

"I should have told you every day after I first said it." Sachiko took a deep breath as time became suspended.

"I love you, Yumi."

Yumi was speechless.

"But why?" She whispered. "I was never good for you. I'm not a lady. I don't have manners."

She wasn't …

She couldn't be…

It needed to be said out loud.

"I can't be Kashiwagi."

Sachiko was thunderstruck. She had never thought that Yumi would compare herself to Suguru, much less try to measure up to him. She didn't want Yumi to act like Suguru. She wanted Yumi to be Yumi, the way she loved her. She squeezed Yumi's shoulder in comfort.

Yumi felt more tears squeeze out from the edge of her eyes, but didn't bother to wipe them away.

"I'm useless. I don't have perfect manners, or grace, I don't have good grades." She closed her eyes tightly. "I've never even had my first kiss."

Though the words had been a mere slip of the tongue, Yumi felt her cheeks redden even at the mention of kissing in front of Sachiko. She had never spoken of something so intimate as kissing in front of anyone, much less the one who she wanted to kiss most. Her eyes snapped open involuntarily and she stared at Sachiko, her blush growing redder by the second.

Sachiko felt her eyes grow wide at Yumi's words.

First kiss?

Her first kiss, of course, had been Suguru. He was 13, she was 12, before Sachiko understood what marriage truly meant, before she knew the truth about him. They had been, oddly enough, the best of playmates all throughout their childhood years, and so she had developed a fledgling schoolgirl crush on him. He had come to her house one day after school, which he did often, with an unusually wide smile.

Sachiko could remember the day clearly. They were out on the grounds, lying under a tree, when suddenly Suguru had sat up, looking off into the trees.

"Sa-chan?"

"Yes, Suguru?"

"Have you ever been kissed? By someone else?"

Sachiko reacted in a politely outraged manner, of course. Like any proper lady would. She remembered giving him a 'well I never!' glare for several seconds under Suguru's laugh had broken the mood. Sachiko pointed her nose in the air until his laugh slowly faded. When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper.

"I have."

She remembered blushing. She was only 12, after all, and ill versed in the manners of being intimate with another. It would be the last time she would ever blushed in front of him. He smiled at her embarrassment and took her hand.

"The person I kissed told me that you never forget your first kiss. Since I'm your cousin, I don't want you to forget me, no matter how much of a lady you become."

All Sachiko could look at was his lips as they descended towards hers. She panicked. Froze. And then Suguru's lips touched hers, lightly, just for a moment. She remembered that she never closed her eyes, the stubble of his newly acquired facial hair, and that his lips were clammy. But still, Suguru had kissed her.

That was all before things changed.

A few years later, when their engagement became a formal one, Sachiko had taken down her ever-present barriers and expressed her joy at their engagement, at their connection. She had thought, that maybe, Suguru and she could have a happy marriage. Then, Suguru brought her world crashing down around her. He didn't love her, he never did, and more shockingly, he had never been attracted to any girl at all. Even at 14, Sachiko's understanding of homosexuality was limited, and she had to rely on overheard information from her schoolmates to verify what it really meant. How ironic that she would end up in much the same situation as Suguru.

It wasn't the fact that Suguru had been attracted to boys, it was the cold, detached manner in which he had rejected her love. His vacant eyes, the stiff posture that he only wore in front of formal guests. He had ceased to become her playful, boyish cousin that she so adored. That moment shattered her view of him forever.

Their relationship was never the same. She grew hostile with him, protecting herself from the hurt that she knew he could cause her. Bitterness and regret caked around her heart.

Until it was melted away by Yumi's loving brown eyes.

And now Yumi was crying, her Yumi, crying because of the pain she had caused. Her bitterness was hurting the only one she could really love.

Sachiko couldn't take it anymore.

She couldn't run from her feelings anymore.

She placed her hands on the sides of Yumi's face; her smooth cheeks slightly damp from tears, and brought her face closer to hers.

She had never been more nervous in her life.

The inches between them closed in slow motion. Yumi's breath, her racing heartbeat, her rain soaked shirt clinging tightly to her body in the night air. The space between them finally closed, and their lips met.

The stars collided.

All thoughts were driven from Yumi's mind in an instant. Sachiko's lips, her lips, crushed against each other's desperately, as if the world would disappear. The electricity in Yumi's body was on high voltage, all the longing, the passion, the love she felt, was tangible, was real. She moved her lips against Sachiko's and buried her hands in her hair; the long, silken, black strands and pushed her body against Sachiko's hurriedly, afraid to let go.

Sachiko couldn't think. She could only feel.

She could feel Yumi's soft lips, kissing her with such love, her shaking body pressed against hers in wild desperation. They parted for air momentarily, then met again, lips pressing against one another's in short, tender kisses, then another passionate one. Sachiko's tongue flickered out to trace Yumi's lips cautiously, then felt her mouth open slightly, allowing their tongues to dance a dance they had never knew could exist.

It was as if she had discovered air, or water, for the very first time. It was if she had just opened her eyes and seen the world, seen color, seen motion. The taste, the feel, of Yumi was overwhelming.

Yumi couldn't keep stop her labored breath as Sachiko kissed her forehead, cheeks, nose, lips, neck. Her soft lips were everywhere at once, her hands firmly placed on her lower back. After a few moments of pure bliss, Sachiko pulled her head back to look into Yumi's loving, passionate eyes.

"I'll never take you for granted again, Yumi, I promise that."

The younger girl could only whisper. "Sachiko."

Their lips met again, for a slow and tender kiss.

"They say," Sachiko stammered through her tears, "that you never forget your first kiss. No matter what happens, I don't want you to forget me."

She didn't want the memory of their love to fade with the years, the days melting into weeks, then into months, then into years as they learned to push the pain further and further into themselves. She didn't want to forget Yumi's touch, Yumi's laugh. She didn't want Yumi to be okay with losing her.

"How could I ever forget you?" Yumi sobbed. "I love you!"

Sachiko knew better, and she knew that Yumi knew better too. People find ways to cope when faced with heartache. Yumi was stronger than she realized, stronger than Sachiko in some respects, and she didn't want to lose that strength by her side. She felt Yumi squeeze her hand a little tighter.

The rain continued its steady assault on the world around them, though the wind's force had lessened noticeably. Both girls seemed afraid to break the silent moment in each other's arms. Sachiko felt tears rise back to her eyes.

"Don't ever think you aren't good enough." Sachiko sobbed. "I don't want you to be Suguru. And I should have never had tried to change you they way I did."

All the times she had pushed Yumi, yelled at her, corrected her manners, tried to train her, all seemed insignificant now.

"You were always perfect the way you were."

Yumi couldn't breathe. Her heart threatened to jump out of her chest.

"I love you, Sachiko," she gasped. "I have since the moment I saw you. I'll do anything for you. I love you so much."

Yumi clutched Sachiko to her desperately. Was this real? Already Sachiko's slim body seemed insubstantial, wispy. But the solid beating of her heart seemed all too tangible. She didn't want to let go of her, didn't want to admit that their time was fleeting. The connection they shared, the touches, the smiles, it could all be taken away by powers beyond their control.

But they were together, here, right now. Sachiko leaned down towards the younger girl to capture her lips in another long kiss, their inexperienced mouths working and feeling their way against soft lips. Light touches on the chin, the cheek, the neck.

Minutes passed. Hours. Days. Yumi wasn't sure; her head swam every time she felt the pure unadulterated bliss of Sachiko's touch.

And then the steady falling of the rain began to fade, and the wind ceased its low howl. The air became still.

The clouds parted.

And a beautiful full moon beamed down on the two.

So this was what happiness was.

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Aiiii! I'm so glad it's done! This was by far the toughest chapter to write emotionally. Again, thanks so much for reading, and give me a few days to get a hold of myself before I even attempt the next chapter. Hahhaha. Take care, everyone!

-WaterGhost (AKA Sarah)


	7. Chapter 7

AHHHHHH I'm back! Sorry that it took so incredibly long to get this done, but I was in the process of moving last month and adapting to a new school schedule so I wasn't really in writing mode. But I have overcome my writer's block successfully, and I've finally come home to my Marimite fic. Since it was so much time between writing parts 6 and 7, I've set part 7 a few years after we last left our lovebirds, but don't worry, a much better part 8 is already in the works. Without further ado, onward with the story!

Disclaimer: Don't own, just dream.

Hope you enjoy! Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading!

-Sarah

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With The Mind

Chapter 7

Nothing Lasts Forever.

It was an American movie that she had seen once, at the opening of an art house that Suguru had decided to back financially. She remembered being entranced by it, the American actors and actresses, the plot. She even bought the book in English, struggled for weeks to read it, even though she considered her English to be well above par.

It reminded her of that summer with Yumi, those precious few months, when she could say that she knew what happiness felt like. There were dinners, days at the amusement park, or just sitting outside in the trees at her house. Long, sweet, kisses when no one was watching, and warm embraces in the moonlight were the sweetest and best of her forbidden pleasures.

But despite their love, the time continued to pass unchecked. Days folded into weeks, into months, and before Sachiko knew it, Yumi was back in school, and she was starting college. Her parents seemed to think that college was merely a formality, but Sachiko put all her energy into her studies, and did very well.

They were still able to see each other, on weekends, on holidays. And when Yumi graduated, she attended Lillian University with Sachiko, and they became even more inseparable. Her parents seemed to be quite understanding about Yumi's attachment to Sachiko, and Sachiko's parents remained utterly clueless about her feelings, but seemed glad that she was occupied for the time being. But, of course, nothing lasts forever.

Sachiko's grandfather began a decline when Sachiko was in the middle of her second year. At first it seemed slow, but tests showed that he had advanced incurable cancer, and all of a sudden, the Ogasawara family was in chaos mode once more. The company was secure, for now, with Sachiko's father capably at the helm, but as her grandfather neared his final days, the group began to call for an able second in command. And who else could take over but the newly graduated Kashiwagi Suguru, nephew of the head of the Ogasawara family and fiancée to his only daughter?

She didn't mourn her grandfather's death like she did her grandmother's. She refused to shed any tears for the man, and felt hot when she saw his mistress being escorted to his funeral. Her grandmother wouldn't have been angry, but she was. She still felt the bitterness from her childhood, a bitterness that she was now sure wouldn't ever go away. Her mother encouraged a week of mourning, but Sachiko returned to school the next day. She couldn't wallow in it.

But with her grandfather gone, her marriage to Suguru was put on the fast track. She clung to Yumi during those weeks before, crying into her shoulder at night to relieve the despair caking around her heart. She wasn't like a normal bride, revolted at the sight of her wedding dress, dreading the long night of polite conversation and accepting congratulations. The happy couple, indeed. Suguru avoided her like the plague during those weeks, and for good reason, too.

And Yumi.

Yumi stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand when she needed comfort, whispering words that only she could hear. Having Yumi by her side was comforting, yet difficult at the same time; they both knew their time was limited. Watched from the back as Sachiko was married to a man that she no longer loved, that didn't love her. They both cried, together, in the limo before the reception. They were losing each other.

Sachiko still went to university, saw Yumi as much as she could, but she was married now. She had social events to attend, people to charm, and spent more and more time away from the university, more and more time away from Yumi. It killed her inside.

When Yumi decided to spend her second year studying abroad, they fought. Just like when they were in high school. But as much as it hurt them both, Yumi wanted to go. And Sachiko had to stay.

Nothing lasts forever.

Sachiko and Suguru have guests tonight, several important people from the Ogasawara group, a move suggested by Sachiko's father to secure Suguru's place as the future commander of the successful family corporation.

She sits gracefully, serves the tea, and makes small talk with her guests while her husband converses with a new business partner.

"Sachiko?"

"Yes?" she answers politely, respectfully, like a wife should answer her husband. In her own, private way, her forced formality was another way of letting Suguru know that she would never be fully happy with their situation.

"Could you retrieve my cell phone from my briefcase, please?" Despite the smile on his face, his eyes lack the jest they once held when she shut him off. It has begun to get to him. It was a small victory (but was it an empty one?).

"Of course." Sachiko rises from her seat, retreats from the room silently as her other guests continue to chatter away.

Was life supposed to be full of these big events that changed the way you looked at it? There were a few, yes, but often she had to face the hours alone, in her house or amongst those in high society who watched her with such a critical eye. She knew that she shouldn't complain too much. There were those in the world that didn't even have a roof over their head at night, much less live in a multimillion yen mansion of gargantuan proportions. And yet she was unhappy.

It had become a little more bearable, over time. Suguru did give her space. After the first three months, he began to spend a good portion of his time at the office, or at the summer house. He was out of town most of the time anyway, in Tokyo, or Kyoto, even London and Paris at times.

And it was only a few months before he took a lover. She knew immediately when he came home that day, she could smell another on him, a different cologne was hanging on his jacket collar when she took his coat after work one day. It took her weeks to confront him about it, but when she did, he faltered. Almost denied it, as if expecting disappointment, expecting anger, expecting sadness.

But Sachiko felt none.

It wasn't all that surprising; after all, that Suguru would find sexual release elsewhere. He had made it clear that he was not sexually attracted to her, which made their wedding night an awkward mess that Sachiko had spent months trying to clear from her mind. His skin was clammy, his moves jerky and awkward. And it hurt. She had cried out, when she had first felt him, and he almost stopped, but they had to go on, had to finish. Their parents had to be outside the door, listening carefully, waiting to breathe sighs of relief when they felt that the marriage was safely consummated. It would be a chore, for the both of them.

He would even invite his lovers to dinners sometimes, a particularly courageous idea around their respective families. Sometimes musicians, sometimes artists, sometimes other businessmen. Their parents remained oblivious. But each gave off a vibe that only Sachiko could trace. She always knew, even though Suguru never said anything.

But what about her?

Sachiko had always known that a true Japanese lady learned to live their lives without certain things. Didn't have personal careers. Didn't depend on true love. A true lady sacrificed love for family, for duty, for financial security.

What about her?

She half heartedly scolded herself for being so selfish. At least, that's what they would call her. Inappropriate. Impetuous. Scandalous.

Not like a lady.

Maybe, just maybe, she didn't want to be a lady. But in the back of her mind, she knew that was a lie too. She had been brought up believing that she was a lady, had eaten, slept, breathed the world of high society. It was too ingrained in her now.

She retrieves the cell phone from his usual black briefcase, tucked into the back of a closet neatly. Butlers tread lightly in the hallway, preparing to escort guests to their cars to conclude the evening. One senses her presence, raises his head, and stands at attention, a perfect solider of society.

"Mrs. Kashiwagi, is there any way I can assist you this evening?"

Sachiko shakes her head, but remembers suddenly.

"Oh, there is one thing. Do you know where today's mail was placed?"

"In the kitchen, ma'am. I shall retrieve it for you."

The words 'that's not necessary' are frozen in her throat as the man (what IS his name?) turns on his heel and strides towards the kitchens quickly. She stands erect, poised, in the hallway, like a statue. Why is she suddenly so tired?

She hears the sound of footsteps approaching; the butler has returned, holding perfectly stacked letters in his gloved hand.

"Thank you very much," she says politely as he holds out the mail.

"Not at all, madam," he replies with a little bow; beats a hasty retreat into the servant wing of the house.

She never expected for the house to be so big. It was a present from Suguru's parents, not nearly the size that Sachiko had grown up in, but much bigger than most other couples live in for their first house. In all honesty, though, any smaller and their distant marriage would be strained. When Suguru wasn't at work, he was on his side of the house, with friends, or work partners, and Sachiko would serve the tea and leave. Sometimes he threw parties, which she was expected to attend, with a pressed kimono and a polite smile, but the rest of the time, she was left to her own devices.

Suguru's teasing had faded, since they had returned from their honeymoon (if you could call it that), admitting silent defeat to Sachiko's cold shoulder. Sachiko rifles through the letters silently. Bills, mostly, addressed for Suguru, advertisements and coupons. All except one, which is addressed to her, in an all too familiar handwriting.

There is a little catch in Sachiko's breath as she identifies Yumi's penmanship.

What is it, with the letters? After all, it was a letter that had initiated their original reunion, a simple piece of paper that led to them proclaiming their love for one another. She still has that letter from Yumi, the one that started it all, it's tucked safely in her copy of William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Sachiko fingers the edge of the envelope excitedly.

Yumi.

Sachiko is awakened from her reverie by laughs floating down the hallway from the dining room. With a sigh, she tucks the letter into her kimono (just like she used to), and returns to the party.

The party lasts well into the night, Suguru charming and amazing all the important and powerful members of the Ogasawara group like a true businessman. He's successfully secured his spot near the top of the food chain, set for a life of power and prestige, and she smiles politely and positions herself as the silent, polite, obedient wife from the right family. To them, it's perfect.

To her, it's hell.

But eventually, the men pour themselves into their limos, leaving empty sake bottles on the table, and leave the house nearly empty, and quiet.

"Sachiko?"

She turns obediently to her husband, mouth pressed in a hard line.

"Yes?"

He shoves his hands into his pockets, looks at her. What is he thinking?

"I'm going to Osaka tomorrow, for business. I'll be gone for a week."

Sachiko bows. "Yes, very good."

And who will keep Suguru warm in his bed in Osaka? Is it the musician who she saw him talking to so much there? Or perhaps the computer programmer who visited the house a few times? It didn't really matter to her.

"You have classes, right?"

They make a little more small talk, a big improvement considering that Sachiko wouldn't even speak to him for a month after their wedding. She feels safe enough to tell him about Yumi's letter, and he smiles at her.

"Good," he says, "you should meet up with her. She makes you happy."

She doesn't hate him, anymore. She's indifferent, maybe, but he's been too kind for her to hate him.

They bid each other polite goodnights, head to their respective wings of the house. The house is silent, the hired help fading seamlessly into the background once the house has been cleaned for the night. Sachiko feels lonely again, but walks towards her large bedroom, complete with a master bathroom and walk in closet. Suguru's room is on the other side of the house.

His and hers. She's still bitter, sometimes, about this whole arrangement, but she's come to grow used to it. But at night, when she's alone in her bed, she wishes that Yumi were by her side, warming her when the nights grew cold.

But there is the letter.

Her room is already prepared for bed, the housekeeper has turned the sheets down. She changes, brushes her teeth, washes her face in silence. Outwardly, she looks calm.

But in truth, her insides are squirming. Because Yumi's letter can only mean one thing.

She's home.

Sachiko opens the letter.

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Well? Any comments? Feed my need!

Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Hello, hello. I know that this is a long time in coming, but extenuating circumstances forced me to push back the release of this part. But never fear, it's here now. I would like to have done so much more with this part (especially certain details), but I had to tone it down of course (but I did what I could ).

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't. And I'm poor. Be kind.

P.S. - Comments or suggestions make me happy.

Happy reading!

-Sarah

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It's cold outside.

It is, after all, winter, a year and three days since she saw her last, a year and three days since she's felt the warmth of her touch. A year and three days. Too long. But the wait is over, and Sachiko sits at a secluded table in a small, quiet café they used to frequent in high school. It's been at least 2 years since she's been here, but it hasn't changed at all. At least, not that she's noticed. Sachiko crosses her legs.

She turns her gaze towards the glass door, watches the people pass by, frozen breath in the air.

She's nervous.

Of course she's nervous. It's not too much to admit it. It's been a long time. A full year since she's seen her, and she wants to get up, to go find her, but all she can do is sit here, and wait.

The letter had been short. A day, a time, a place, and an I Love You. She missed the words, she wanted to hear them coming from Yumi's lips, but reading it still made her heart flutter. But it has been a year and three days. She doesn't know what to expect.

The door opens, and in a surreal moment, an all too familiar figure. Here she is.

Say something.

"Hello." Sachiko's voice is much weaker, much quieter than she expected.

There's a soft smile gracing the other girl's (woman's, now) features, and Sachiko is reminded just how beautiful her Yumi is. Her Yumi. It's possessive, she knows, and unnecessarily so, but she's still her Yumi.

"Hi, Sachiko." No more onee-sama. Sachiko didn't miss hearing it.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

If Sachiko were still in high school, she would be squirming in her chair at the close proximity to her friend (lover?). Instead, she gives Yumi a quick up and down. She looks good. Still a little shorter than her, slimmer, face more acutely defined, more mature than when she'd last put her lips onto it. And she stands with confidence, with poise, like a worldly young woman. She has truly grown up.

She sits down quickly, doesn't wait to see if Sachiko will get up to make a display of affection. Sachiko feels ashamed.

The waiter comes by, briefly, and Yumi orders a tea. She sets down her purse in silence, then looks Sachiko square in the eye.

"You look good."

Sachiko purses her lips in an ironic smirk. "If you say so. But you look better."

Yumi blushes, the tinniest bit. "Thanks."

Sachiko runs one finger along the rim of her tea cup. "How long have you been home?"

"Just two days. Most of it was spent jet-lagging, too, so I suppose this is the true day one." She laughs. Just like she used too. The sound of it comforts Sachiko.

"And the trip to Europe?"

Yumi's face lights up. "Amazing. Beautiful. Everywhere we went, it was just so beautiful. I have hundreds of pictures, of course, but you're probably too busy to see them."

Sachiko feels a jerk in the center of her chest.

"Don't say that."

She sees instant regret in Yumi's warm brown eyes. "Oh, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

There's a short, very uncomfortable silence, and the two women stare into their tea cups.

Sachiko looks up, then bravely reaches out a hand to touch the warm skin of Yumi's hand. She moves, only slightly, then relaxes into Sachiko's touch. Her skin feels soft, triggers memories she had almost forgotten; the way those hands had felt on the bare skin of her back, her neck. Something behind her navel jumps again.

"Tell me about Europe, Yumi."

Yumi smiles again. "You know. You've been there." Sachiko lets her nostrils flare slightly in disdain.

"Not as a student."

Yumi nods in silent acknowledgement, not wanting to bring up the subject of the honeymoon again. She had spent many sleepless nights, sitting by the phone, waiting to listen Sachiko cry, waiting to cry with her. She had never felt more lonely in her life.

"Well, I already knew my roommate, so I knew somebody there already. We learned English very quickly, there were some Americans staying in the next room and we went everywhere with them. It was pretty tough, but I have to say I'm really good at it now. Go ahead, test me," Yumi wags her index finger in a playful challenge. Sachiko's faces transforms with a bright smile.

"Really?"

Yumi laughs. "Yeah, go ahead."

Sachiko allows herself to giggle.

"How many countries did you visit?" she inquires in perfect English.

Yumi grins. "We went to Italy, Switzerland, England, France, and Ireland."

Sachiko raises her eyebrows in admiration. "Well done. And what was your favorite country?"

"Well, I loved Italy, but my favorite was Ireland. Everything there was so green and peaceful. And they spoke English in a funny accent."

Sachiko lifts her hands and brings them together for a quiet polite clap. "Impressive," she resumes in Japanese. "You gave up French?"

Yumi chuckles. "I never could get the pronunciation quite right."

"Did you end up changing your major, then?"

Yumi laughs. "Yeah, French wasn't such a good idea. I changed to Communications, I think I can get a good job after I graduate, too."

Sachiko sighs deeply, then smiles. "You're happy, then."

Yumi cocks her head to the side slightly, a slightly confused look adorning her features. Sachiko sees the traces of an old Yumi in the look, and tries to keep the sadness out of her smile.

She has grown up. And now, so has Yumi. At one point, in their past, some worried that she would hold Sachiko back, Sachiko the lady. Now, it appeared that Sachiko was holding Yumi back. Should Sachiko get up, and say goodbye, let Yumi live her life; thrive in her newfound maturity and freedom?

She doesn't want to. It's been a year and three days since she's seen her, a year and three days since she has touched her skin, or embraced her. This is ridiculous.

She rises from her seat, quickly closes the gap between them with a few steps, and stoops to wrap her arms around the younger woman in one fluid motion. It's out of character, yes, and people might be looking, but for now, she doesn't care. Being a lady in front of Yumi, after all their history, seems silly.

"Sa-Sachiko?"

"I'm sorry, Yumi." The lighter haired woman, after a few shocked moments, returns the hug gratefully.

"Don't apologize, Sachiko. Just don't." Yumi doesn't know why tears are rising to her eyes, and she reaches one hand to her face to wipe them away from behind Sachiko's back.

When the finally break the hug, both women's eyes have changed. Yumi realizes that she doesn't want her tea anymore, and rises up to stand with Sachiko.

"Let's get out of here."

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Sachiko summons her driver, and the two women climb into the sleek black car silently. The ride in the car back to Sachiko's house is silent. There is so much to say, so much they could talk about. Something in Sachiko wants to kiss Yumi here, in the car. She reads the same message in Yumi's eyes, transformed into two smoldering beacons that made Sachiko's heart skip a beat, but they settle for letting their hands grasp each other's lightly. The contact is simple, but for them, simple is comforting. They have had enough of complications.

And things were complicated. There was school, and now, Sachiko's new role as the perfect wife, that had made their relationship evolve from difficult to almost impossible.

And one night, Sachiko couldn't take it any more. She barely remembered calling Yumi that night, but as soon as she arrived at the door she collapsed into the younger woman's arms.

Any other night, there would have been just hugs, a few kisses, maybe.

But that night, that night was different.

And Yumi was there, reaching out, gathering her out of the darkness. She had never felt more alive, with Yumi's hands, Yumi's lips, on hers. Their skin touching. Was intimacy supposed to be like that? Was that how was it supposed to feel? She knew, as they lay together naked in her bed, that she should feel dirty. Sex with another woman wasn't something that a good Japanese lady did. She should feel guilty. But she didn't.

And so it began. The secret nights, the long weekends, extended study sessions. Suguru acted like he knew, but didn't tease her about it anymore. He even provided alibis for their parents on more than one occasion, just like she did when he spent time with his lovers.

The first time they both trembled, almost too afraid to do what they both wanted to. Sachiko cried, in the end, tears of happiness, clutched Yumi to her as they rode on their own cloud, away from the rest of the world.

It was different every time. Sometimes it was desperate, bruising, moving as if it was they were racing some invisible clock, and sometimes it was slow and sweet. But every time, as they moved against each other, they knew that this was love.

The car pulls into the long driveway, and the two women get out silently, Sachiko only speaking to bid the driver a good day and to dismiss him for the night. With a little bow, the man retreats back behind the wheel. Both women watch the black car until it disappears around the corner, and then Yumi reacts.

She pulls Sachiko to her for a passionate kiss, one that she has been hiding deep inside her for so long, and she feels a tangible need in Sachiko's return kiss. Her head begins to spin, the butterflies in her stomach come back with a vengeance. She has missed this.

They break the kiss for air, then meet again for another, and another. Yumi runs one hand lightly down Sachiko's thigh and moves her lips to the taller woman's neck. Sachiko's eyes flutter open for a second, then close, overtaken by Yumi's soft lips. She, in turn, pulls Yumi close to her body, feeling their bodies press together, warmth searing through the layers of clothing. Sachiko's hand wraps around the back of Yumi's neck, then moves down past the neck of Yumi's shirt, coming in contact with warm skin. She feels the younger woman shudder for a moment, lean into the intimate touch eagerly.

Sachiko finally reaches into her purse for the house key, pulls Yumi behind her as she makes for the front door.

"The house is empty?" Yumi asks breathlessly as she follows Sachiko.

"Suguru is on a business trip," Sachiko says flatly, not bothering to put any emotion into her voice. She sees anger flash, briefly, in Yumi's expressive eyes. Yumi never liked Suguru, never pretended to, even at their wedding.

"The help has the day off," Sachiko says as she turns the key in the lock, "I have the house to myself today."

It's cold, and Yumi hugs her shoulders, rubs them expectantly.

The door opens after a few long minutes, and she follows Sachiko into the depths of the large house. She has been on a brief tour, once, but she doesn't pay attention to the rest of the house as Sachiko leads her upstairs to her wing.

It hasn't changed since she was here last. Same western style bed, same antique vanity passed down through her family. Sachiko turns to face her, eyes dark.

Yumi reaches out again, strokes Sachiko's cheek softly. Sachiko feels her breath catch.

"Are we going to do this?" Yumi whispers softly.

Sachiko blinks.

Smiles.

And kisses Yumi like she never has before.

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A single beam of light streams through the window, landing on the sleeping face of Sachiko. She stirs, blinks blearily.

It's morning, and she's in bed. But there's a comforting presence resting beside her, a warmth that can only mean one person.

Yumi.

Sachiko turns to face a still sleeping Yumi. Her eyes are closed, and her breaths are shallow and even. After a moment, the younger woman begins to move.

She opens her eyes slightly, and yawns politely. Her hair is mussed, her eyes barely open and still bleary from sleep, but she has never looked more beautiful. Sachiko reaches out a hand, entranced, and cups Yumi's face lovingly. A few seconds of yawning and blinking, and Yumi returns the smile brightly.

"Good morning, Sachiko," she looks into Sachiko's eyes, smiling happily. Sachiko feels as if her heart might burst.

"Good morning."

"Is it really early, Sachiko?"

"You don't call me Onee-sama anymore," Sachiko says in an almost teasing tone.

"It doesn't quite seem appropriate anymore," Yumi replies, a little sheepishly, eyes moving to her hand as she moves it to rest comfortably against the bare skin of Sachiko's back.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," Sachiko whispers.

Yumi's smile has faded, and she nods gravely. "I wish we could, too."

But Sachiko's husband returns today, and Yumi has to go see her parents. Things get in the way. People get in the way. Life gets in the way, and there's nothing they can do to stop it.

Finally, Yumi sighs heavily. "I guess I have to go, then. When can I see you again?"

Sachiko shifts slightly, unable to hold back the sadness on her face. "You wanted me to see your new apartment, right? I could drop by for a visit tomorrow if that's okay."

Yumi smiles. "Really? That'd be great!"

Sachiko mirrors Yumi's smile. "Of course."

"Does Suguru know?" Yumi's voice drops suddenly. Sachiko nods gravely.

"He does."

"Is that okay?"

Sachiko is silent for a few long moments. "I don't know."

Yumi heaves a sigh. "Alright, then. I'll show myself out, call a cab."

Sachiko sits up in her bed, wraps a sheet around her to ward off the cold chill of the morning air. "Are you sure? At least let me pay for the cab."

Yumi pulls her shirt over her head. "No, I'll be alright."

"Yumi?"

"Yes, Sachiko?"

"You know that I love you, right?"

A sweet smile. "I love you too, Sachiko. Always."

The words never get old.

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Joy of joys, it's over. Sorry for the lack of explicit material, but for the sake of ratings I had to tone it down quite a bit. Hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter; I think we might be nearing the end of this particular saga.

Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Oh boy. We're nearing the end….which is all too sad, because I really enjoyed working on this project. Again I must apologize for the lateness of this portion of the story, I've been bombarded by two essays and a test these past two weeks and I really wanted to do well. A small note: I actually researched what a normal Japanese breakfast is, after all, pancakes seemed a little out of character. Anyway, if anyone has any ideas of what anime to attempt to write a story for next, please message me. I'm open to any and all ideas.

Disclaimer: Nope. Sorry.

Thanks for reading, be sure to comment, and enjoy!

-Sarah

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With the Mind

Chapter 9

She had things to say. To him. To Suguru. She had planned a whole speech, telling him about Yumi, about everything. She even jotted down notes, so that she wouldn't falter. It had been two weeks since she'd last seen Yumi, too many dinner parties, too many late nights waiting on her father's business friends. Tonight, it had become too much. So she planned her speech, sat down on her bed, waited for him to return from his meeting. She was going to put her foot down. This is enough, I can't take it anymore. She ran the words, the angry phrases over and over in her head. But the hours passed, Sachiko's eyes dropped, and she fell into a light slumber on her bed.

A knock on her door brings her back to the waking world. She shifts uncomfortably, having slept in an odd position, head on top of her arm, slumped on one side. She clears her throat, and calls out a shaky "yes?". The door opens, and a female figure appears in the lit doorway.

"Mrs. Kashiwagi?"

Sachiko wrinkles her nose, shakes her head to clear the sleep from it. "What's going on?"

A young maid shifts uncomfortably in the doorway. She's new, and must be the only one in the house tonight. She's clad in her own sleep attire and a robe, and after a moment, bows quickly, face drawn. "Master Kashiwagi is home, and he's behaving quite erratically. I wasn't sure what to do."

Sachiko swings her legs over the side of the bed, rises from the bed. Suguru had been at a late meeting, she knew, but if he was just coming home now, at 3:30 in the morning, then something had to be wrong. She shrugs into her robe and slippers, and steps out into the hallway.

"He's in his room, yes?"

The maid nods, and Sachiko moves quickly down the hallway towards his room. The door is open.

There stands her husband, bottle in hand. His suit, which had been pristine and perfectly dry-cleaned only that morning, is rumpled and creased. He's mumbling to himself, stumbling around his room. The whole bedroom smells distinctly of sake, and looks like he hasn't shaved or washed in awhile. He holds up the bottle when he sees her.

"Sa-chan," he slurs, "come join me! I'm gonna fly off the balcony!" He turns towards his balcony doors, and Sachiko's heart leaps into her throat.

"No!" She moves towards him quickly, grabs his arm to stop and steady him.

"What?" He slurs, and looks at her. "Oh, hi Sa-chan! Why aren't you with Yumi? You're supposed to spend the night with Yumi."

Sachiko tries to lead him to his bed. "Suguru, you're drunk. You need to sleep."

He shakes his head. "Nah, I had some sake after work with some of the guys. And I saw, and I saw … but I couldn't, and so I had another glass. Not drunk. Not drunk."

He smells, and his eyes are swimming with booze. She sighs. "Oh Suguru. What happened?"

She manages to get him to sit on his bed, but he still holds onto the quarter full sake bottle. Then, his voice drops.

"You were right, Sachiko. You're always right."

Sachiko freezes for a minute. "What?"

Suguru smiles. "I should have stopped it. I should have never made you…" his voice trails off, and he raises the sake to his lips.

Right? "What, Suguru?"

Suguru had been drunk before, but never like this. He laughs, now beyond communication, lays back onto his bed. Sachiko moves the sake bottle to his nightstand, pushes his legs and feet up onto the bed. She looks up at his face. He's out. She watches his face for a few minutes, looking for answers, and walks away.

In her room, Sachiko paces for a few minutes, questions racing in her head. It's late, she's exhausted. She'll deal with this tomorrow.

Gingerly, she lies down on her bed, pulls her covers up to her chin. Things aren't simple.

Sachiko sinks into an uneasy sleep.

Her eyes snap open hours later, mind clouded with unanswered questions. Her husband's drunken ramblings from the night before, as unintelligible as they might be, kept her body wound tight with worry. She rises, quickly and quietly, puts on a robe over her night gown.

The long hallway separating their respective rooms is still dark, cold, and quiet. The help is downstairs in the kitchen, preparing their breakfast, a light meal of miso soup and rice, no doubt.

Stealthily, she pads down the hallway; arms wrapped around her bunched shoulders to ward off the cold air. She pushes his door open silently, steps in. He's not in his bed, or in the bathroom. But the sliding door leading to the porch is open, and she steps into the doorway. He is slumped in a lawn chair, clutching the empty sake bottle from the night before.

She pulls her robe around her shoulders tighter, and clears her throat awkwardly. He doesn't move, but she knows he's fully aware of her presence.

"We need to talk." His voice is low, gravely, somber.

"About what?"

He scratches his 5 o' clock shadow, sighs heavily. He hasn't raised his head, won't meet her eyes.

"I can't do this any more."

"What?"

Silence. She takes a step closer.

"Do what, Suguru?"

He gestures with his hands, almost violently, swiping out in front of him at an imaginary enemy. "This! This all this! This house, the parties, the lies."

Sachiko opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. She doesn't know what to say. She closes it again, waits. After another moment, Suguru laughs derisively.

"The ironic part is; I wanted to do this. I was the one who pushed for it." He picks up the empty sake bottle, tilts it onto its side, watching as the last few drops fall onto the carpet.

"I should have listened." He drops the bottle; it thuds on the ground decisively. "I should have listened to you, Sachiko."

With that, he raises his hand to his face, and begins to sob.

Sachiko is frozen. Part of her wants to cry with him, but here she stands, unable to move, unable to think. He's crying. Her cousin is crying. Her husband is crying. The last time she had seen him cry was when he was 12, and had fallen off of his bike at his parent's house. She had helped him into the house, where the tears subsided quickly with a band aid and a bowl full of green tea ice cream. She doesn't know how to make these tears go away. She finally finds words.

"What happened, Suguru?" Her voice is strangely calm, quiet.

He raises his head for the first time, eyes red and swollen, stubble covering both cheeks and upper lip. He looks like hell. He sniffles, wipes his nose with his sleeve, clears his throat.

"I fell in love."

Should she gasp? Speak? She can't even breathe; all the air and words are caught in her throat in an instant. Suguru's bleary, red streaked eyes are fixed on her, searching desperately for some kind of emotion; as if pleading for her to speak.

Say something.

Say something!

"Come inside, Suguru. It's cold."

He looks at her, blink, but stands, still a little unsteady on his feet. She grabs his arm and leads him into the bedroom, over to his king sized bed.

"Sit here," she tells him gently.

Wordlessly, he obeys, sitting down on his bed heavily, and Sachiko shuts the door with alacrity. He moves his eyes to hers as she approaches him cautiously.

She clears her throat; takes a deep breath.

"What's his name?"

He cocks his head to one side. "Huh?"

Sachiko kneels down next to her husband, puts a hand on his shoulder. "The one you love. What's his name?"

Suguru blinks, wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Koichi. Tanaka Koichi."

"Tanaka Koichi" Sachiko repeats the name slowly, trying to picture this man in her mind. The one that held him in his arms on the unbearable lonely nights, the nights that she spent with Yumi. Yumi. Sachiko pictures Yumi's face in her mind, pictures her crying like Suguru is doing now. She almost wants to cry herself, but she's cried enough. She watches a tear slide down Suguru's face, he brushes it away quickly, watches her, waiting for a reaction. Say something, his eyes say. Say something.

"Sa-chan?"

"That's good," she says tentatively, then stronger, "that's good. I'm glad."

He smiles a tiny hopeful smile. She tries to return it, but is not sure that she does.

"What now?"

"I don't know. I don't know."

Their conversation is abruptly ended by a knock on the door. It's the young maid again, looking even more flustered than she had the night before.

"Master Kashiwagi, Mrs. Kashiwagi, there's a young man at the door. He refuses to go away. A Mr. Tanaka," she holds out her hands in confusion, "I don't know what to do."

Suguru appears frozen, sporting a deer in the headlights look that she never sees from him. Sachiko puts her hand on his shoulder, looks up at the maid.

"Show him in. We'll be down in a minute."

The maid beats a hasty retreat, and Sachiko pulls her cousin to his feet. "Change clothing. Wash your face, for God's sake. Go downstairs. You two have things to talk about."

He looks into her eyes, and she sees relief, hope, and gratefulness. "Thank you, Sa-chan. Thank you."

She smiles at him, a true smile. "You're welcome."

She leaves him, closes the door behind her. It's time to meet him, this person who her husband loves. She must look like shit, in her robe, and with only a few hours sleep, but at this point, it doesn't really matter. So she gathers her robe around her, descends the stairs with her head held high. And there he is, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

Tanaka Koichi.

He's young, tall, slim. He's clad in the blueprint white collar slacks, shirt and tie. He also wears a pair of glasses that gives him a slightly nerdy look. But he's good-looking, and seems nice. His eyes are full of worry, full of nervousness, full of desperation. The same look she had seen in Yumi's eyes. She pauses for a moment on the stairs.

Yumi. Her entire body fills with love.

But she's now face to face with him, eyes locked in silent assessment. He bows low respectfully.

"You must be Sachiko. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Sachiko bows back. "So you're Tanaka Koichi?"

He shifts his feet nervously. "Yes ma'am. My name is Tanaka Koichi, I'm a computer programmer for the Imamura Group in Osaka." His words are halting, tense.

She nods. "I see."

She feels strangely calm, talking to this man. The man who owns her husbands heart. Now, she knows. They deserve happiness.

But so do she and Yumi.

She continues to look into his eyes, and speaks calmly. "I'll leave you two alone now. I'm going to visit someone I love." And she sees understanding in his eyes.

She hears Suguru at the top of the stairs, and turns. His face is priceless, she sees true love in his eyes, and she smiles, and climbs the stairs. She pats her cousin on the shoulder, and heads to her room.

She steps into the shower, washes quickly, dries, dresses. She'll leave them alone, she's going out.

Because right now, there's only one person she wants to see right now.

She calls the driver, puts on her coat.

As she climbs into the car, she feels something that she hasn't felt in awhile. She's going to see Yumi, just like she has before, but now, she feels different.

And she knows what it is.

It's hope.

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Questions? Comments? Juicy tidbits?

Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Hello again, readers! I know I have been lost for quite some time but finally I come back with the final chapter to this Sachiko/Yumi saga. This was really a long, long process, but better late than never, right? I have developed such a fondness for Marimite and it's characters that I would love to continue writing fiction from the series. So if you have any ideas for pairings, just let me know, or even if you have another anime that you would like me to explore, I would love any suggestions and feedback.

I leave the end of the chapter the way it is (and you will understand soon what I mean), because I'm going to delay ending this fic a little longer and add a long detailed epilogue to the story. So never fear, I'm not quite prepared to cut the umbilical yet. I'm really sad that this is drawing to a close, because I loved working on this project so much. I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed and sent me their praise, I don't deserve it at all, but I'm so grateful that my story is appreciated by so many readers.

Once again, thank you everyone. And enjoy.

Disclaimer: Never have, never will.

With the Mind

Chapter 11

It's a cold, gray winter day, not too unlike the previous day, or the one before that. Wind whistled through the bare branches of dormant trees, made them sway ever so slightly. It was, seemingly, an ordinary day.

But it wasn't a normal day. Sachiko knew in her heart of hearts that it wasn't. It was the beginning of something new, something unknown, but hopefully, something wonderful.

She showers and dresses like it was any other day. Her conversation with Suguru flashes through her mind, replaying itself over and over again. Instead of going down to the kitchen, instead of starting work on her paper for her creating class, she puts on her coat, and goes outside. There are more important places to be than in the house today.

It's cold outside, but she doesn't really care. She wraps her coat around her tighter, then reaches out for the mail that is tucked in the small box by the front door. She flips through the letters quickly, mostly bills and advertisements. One is addressed to her, though, a handwritten envelope not all too unlike the one she received from Yumi all that time ago. The handwriting is not hers, though, and the address is one she has never seen.

She looks up as she hears the car tires screech to a halt in front of the steps, and the driver emerge and scramble around to the back door. As he opens the door for her, she can feel the man watching her face.

"Are you okay, madam?" he asks politely.

"Yes, I'm fine," she responds politely. "I just need to go for a drive. Clear my head."

The man nods, and she climbs into the waiting vehicle.

She spends over an hour driving around, thinking. Just thinking. Yumi is still in class, and Sachiko needs to clear her mind. The car winds through a few roads in the countryside, then back into the controlled chaos and concrete of the city. She wishes, momentarily, that she were back in her parent's summerhouse. In the evenings, when the house was quiet, and the insects buzzed in the twilight, all other things seemed to go away, even the family situations seemed far away. The quiet wasn't a lonely quiet, but rather a comforting one, and she couldn't explain it.

There was that summer, too, when Yumi came with her to the house. There was that. Sachiko smiles inwardly, recalling sitting on the porch, reading a book, the even breathing of her petite soeur just a few feet away, smooth cheeks flushed in the summer heat. Sachiko sighs.

Surprisingly enough, she is calm. She had imagined that a day like this would bring a pounding heart, rushed breathing, a lump in her throat. But her throat is clear; her breathing is slow and even, her mind is clear.

What were they going to do, she and Suguru?

Sachiko had an idea, just as she was sure that her husband had ideas as well. She had often swirled the thoughts in her head, especially on the nights she had to sleep without Yumi by her side.

She imagined this big family confrontation, where she and Suguru sat their parents down in the living room of their house and calmly told them the situation. That they were each in love with different people, and they were tired. Tired of lying, tired of pretending, tired of going through the motions of a normal marriage. Their marriage was far from normal, and Sachiko didn't care if the world saw that or not. The only thing that mattered was that she could be with Yumi, and he could be with Koichi.

Suguru's parents would more than likely react badly to the news, for mostly economic reasons: the marriage between their son and their niece had no doubt been extremely beneficial for their family. She wasn't really sure how her parents would react. She imagined blank, unbelieving stares from each of them. They had raised her with the best possible schooling. She was smart, obedient, and polite. Everyone would say that she was the perfect young lady.

What, then, would they do?

Divorce was almost impossible, and she knew that. But maybe, just maybe, she and Suguru could live their lives in the open, with the ones they loved, without having to worry about societal and family repercussions. She knew that it wouldn't end in a perfect fairy tale ending, but then again, she never really believed in fairy tales in the first place.

You make your own happiness.

She wants to see Yumi. She reaches into her pocket to help keep it warmer and her fingers brush the letter that had been delivered to the house that morning. She turns it over thoughtfully in her hands a few times. No name, just her address and a return address. Finally, she turns the envelope over, uses the fingernail on one hand to break the seal.

From the envelope she draws a small, thin piece of paper, with handwriting she hasn't seen in years.

_Sachiko,_

_Was moving out of my apartment last week, found two copies of this photo, which means this one must be yours. Say hello to Yumi for me. This is my new address on the envelope, so write me back._

_Youko_

Sachiko smiles widely, and pulls out the photo from the envelope.

It's a picture of the entire Yamiyurikai, taken during her 2nd year at Lillian High School for Girls. At the table sits Torii Eriko, chin tilted to the side, eyes sparkling with warmth and mischief, and next to her, Sachiko's grande soeur, Mizuno Youko. Sachiko feels a wave of feeling rush through her at the sight of her beloved friend, her kind eyes and hands neatly folded in her lap. Standing directly behind them, Sato Sei, eyes twinkling, one arm raised in the victory hand sign, the other slung across her petite soeur's shoulders. Todo Shimako, smiling her gracious, shy smile, eyes slightly turned upward to look at her grande soeur. To their left, the smiling faces of the cousins Hasekura Rei and Shimazu Yoshino, Rei hugging the smaller girl to her side and Yoshino raising her hand in a slight wave. It had been so long since she had seen most of these girls, her classmates and true friends, all of them. She wasn't even sure where Eriko was, and she hadn't talked to her classmate Rei in too long.

And then there, at the very right of the picture, is Sachiko and Yumi, side by side. Yumi is smiling brightly, her wide expressive eyes full of the joy Sachiko had come to love so much. Their arms were just touching, pressing slightly against the other girl's. Yumi was leaning ever so slightly into her, and Sachiko remembered grappling with the idea of hugging her petite soeur to her, like Sei and Rei had done with their respective petite soeurs. It was relatively early into their soeur relationship, though, and in the end, she was still caught up in what was appropriate for a lady to do.

But no matter.

Sachiko brings one hand up to her face, not surprised to feel a tear trickling down her cheek, but she brushes it away. There will be no tears from her today.

She places the photo back in her jacket pocket. The driver clears his throat.

"Mrs. Kashiwagi? Is there anywhere specific you would like to go?"

Sachiko places her hand on the outside of her pocket, and after a moment or two, speaks softly.

"Yes. Take me to Lillian's."

It looks exactly the same as she remembers it; the long walkway lined with trees and shrubbery, browned by the winter drought. Cold air swirls around her, bringing goosebumps to her arms and legs. She walks slowly, trying to remember just how she felt those many days as a girl, making the same journey to classes. She really does feel that she has aged; a kind of world-weariness. She has aged in more ways than one, as well, and she feels more mature, more sure of herself as a person.

Most of that was because of Yumi.

Up ahead she can see a building, a glimpse of the Rose Mansion. There might be students there now, talking Yamiyurikai matters, a festival perhaps, or something else. She had often imagined her little cousin Touko there, ruling the other girls with an iron fist. At least, that's always how Sachiko had imagined it.

As much as Sachiko would enjoy walking the halls of the school once more, seeing the classrooms, the Rose Mansion, or the greenhouse, she wasn't going any further than this. She had no doubt in her mind that the current and future members of Lillian's High School for Girl's would take care of the buildings, the grounds, and the spirit that she loved so much about her former school. And besides, she was already at the place she wanted to see. Even in the dull winter weather, the statue appears graceful and beautiful.

Sachiko had spent much time in front of statue of Maria. It was, in fact, one of the few places that Sachiko could really pray and feel like someone was listening to her words, and not just waiting for their turn to speak. Even when the situation at home seemed unbearable, a pilgrimage to the statue always made her heart feel a little lighter. Sachiko faces the statue, places her palms together in the familiar salute, and lowers her head, eyes closed tightly. She prays. And prays. There is so much to pray for, and so much to be thankful for, too. The cold winds sigh around her.

Minutes later, she opens her eyes to look at the kind, unchanging face once more. It seems fitting that she is here. After all, this is where she first met Yumi, on that fateful morning. And this was the place that she had given her rosary to Yumi, formally beginning their soeur relationship.

Suddenly. Sachiko feels a little jolt in her chest, a flash of lightening burns in her veins. And then, a presence makes itself known in the back of her mind.

"Hello, Yumi," Sachiko murmurs, just loud enough for the younger woman to hear. She hears a small, short intake of breath and turns to face her lover.

She looks beautiful, cheeks red from the whipping wind, hair dancing around her face. She is smiling that big, undeniably Yumi smile, and Sachiko goes slightly weak at the knees.

"And here I thought I was being quiet. How did you know it was me?"

Sachiko returns Yumi's smile, but her voice remains low and serious. "I once told you that if I lived in a dark, soundless world, I would always be able to recognize you. Do you remember?"

Yumi blushes furiously, one that rivaled all her girlish blushes of the past. Of course she remembers. Those close moments, those precious few seconds that they were able to steal together, they weren't ever enough. She treasured them all.

"Of course," Yumi's voice lowers to match Sachiko's tone. In a rare display of public affection, Sachiko leans forward, places her forehead against Yumi's. Her fingers wrap themselves around Yumi's thin arms and pull the younger woman close to her body. This, right here, was where she wanted to be.

After a long hug, Yumi pulls away, cheeks flushed. "What a coincidence that you came here too! Giving prayers to Maria-sama?" Yumi smiles a cheeky smile.

"I don't believe its coincidence," Sachiko says, then smiles brightly. "Guess who I got a letter from today?"

"Who?"

"Youko." She draws the photograph from her pocket and hands it to Yumi. She watches Yumi's face as she scrutinizes the photo for a few seconds, and meets her eyes when she looks up.

"Wow," Yumi says, "that seems so long ago, doesn't it? I miss those days."

Sachiko nods.

"But I know," Yumi hands the picture back to her, eyes twinkling, "that good days are yet to come, right?"

Sachiko smiles. "Right."

Sachiko stares at Yumi for what seems like minutes, not sure how to say all the ways that gather at the back of her throat. There is so much to say.

"What is it, Sachiko?" Yumi asks, a hint of worry in her eye.

"Yumi," Sachiko begins, "I have some news. There are things we need to talk about."

Yumi's eyes immediately flash with worry. Then Sachiko reaches down, and grabs her lovers hand, intertwining their fingers. She can no longer hold back a huge grin.

"Come on," she urges, and hand in hand, they walk back down the pathway to the car. To the uncertainties, to all the unknowns and the many questions yet to come.

But all that matters is that they are together.

And deep inside, they know the world is going to change, and it can only be for the better.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
